When searching for a job and you need to vent.

So I applied to a job from the craigslist board.

I'm tired of applying online and never seeing anything back
I figure this will be more of the same so here's 3 hours of work for one job application

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The Email:

This Application is worth your time,

Dynamic, fast growing, fun loving cloud computing Help Desk Man. This Desktop Support Technician has a balance of knowledge, ingenuity and the ability to solve problems effectively and efficiently. Researching, troubleshooting and humor are key tools I've gotten from life. I have, the skills to successfully and effectively interact with internal and external clients and IT personnel Yes, it’s a lot of buzzword bingo but, I thought I should add it.

You can contact me at (775) 397-3305.

There is no reason not to.

Call now.

-Michael Mills
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Cover Page One
(There is an image here in case facebook doesn't show this in it's notes section)


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Cover page two


Hello small laid back company representative,

Do you see that handsome guy on cover page one?
The one with the Sunglasses?

That guy just spent two hours on a mac going from a photo to illustrator and back again to make sure you'll know how good a candidate you'll be getting if you decide to hire him.

I'll skip past the buzzword bingo since you were told to add it. I'm sure that you'll appreciate some problems solving.

Now looking at your description:

Talented tier 1 help desk. I've got talent I can dress up in a suit and tie my own tie, and you'll have a first class professional in minutes.

You want someone who'll make your customers feel like the greatest people on earth. If they're helped buy a guy in sunglasses they'll know they're cool since only cool people get talked to by the sunglasses crowd.

Solving the issue, will always depend on the issue. I can't help with relationship problems those are personal, but if you're internet is down, printer prints in greek, your computer makes a grinding noise or for some reason you just can't install that program then I'm your man.

Filling out tickets is easy no problem.

Fitting 5 hats on my head is a rather hard requirement and previously I've only gotten up to 2. This particular 2 however were:
1. A Jester's motley hat which ought to count as 3 with all the bells and points
2. A Zebra striped safari hat that counts as 2 as c'mon zebra stripes, and safari it's just too cool for school. The principal wouldn't even let me wear it there, it might just explode the brains of the other students when they tried to fit it in with all the rest that they were learning.

Juggling two support calls is only an issue if the support calls are on fire. I can juggle.
The standard number of beansacks that I'll juggle is three but calls are much easier as they require less dexterity and more talking. I also am wary about juggling sharp things I like my hands too much to juggle those.

As for the experience you offer and duties afterward those are standard job fair. Interview me and we'll be able to see how much I meet your needs.

- Michael Mills

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Followed by salary requirements and my resume.

It probably won't lead to much but ah does that feel good.

A Deeper Understanding (How I think; very Self-centered)

I live a whole life as the day progresses. If you start me out in the morning all I really want to do is sit and watch cartoons. Around noon or so I'm ready to find something to work on but not very much of it, late afternoon comes and set me to a task and I'll do it while learning. I'll listen to a lecture by Richard Feynman, on physics while trying to solve the most pressing problem of the moment, be it world peace or laundry. Recently this has been job hunting. But I digress

After Dinner I'll become a cynic as the troubles of the world seem like too much to ever take on. Why would anyone try so hard when things get messed up. And sometime after 8 or 9 I'll think things aren't so bad after all and read something that lets me live the life of some hero or heroine for a while, and I start thinking of new things to amuse me.

Meanwhile I've been getting a sinking feeling lately that there is no way to really understand the world with any kind of meaning without understanding math. Problems of scale, how much something is worth and many other things seem to need a number assigned to them, and that number needs to be able to be explained.

I'm not opposed to math so much as I'm opposed to the work that it takes to know it intuitively. When I know something I want to be able to say quickly that a thing is follows or is evident and math doesn't allow me to do that easily. Mostly because I hate learning by route and most math is made simple by route learning and understanding later what it is that you're actually doing.

Which strikes me as the wrong way to do things. As a competitive person I like to understand the basic idea and work towards a better way of doing it. That is how it works for me.

I apply this to the games I play, I played chess for years until the yahoo program I used refuse to let me capture pieces on a certain square and made me lose games. I hated that.

I played Resident Evil 5 and loved that game, not for the story but for the competitive play. I got to be in the top 600 scores of hundreds of thousands of players. The ratings of fail C, B, A, S, and the elite SS appealed to my sense of progress and allowed me to compete with myself as well as others all by giving me numbers to shoot for via the process of trial and error.

Now I play StarCraft II and again there is a ranking system and ways to measure how you do. All of which lead me back to numbers and math. If you want to understand something math gives you a method of making sure that the logic works given your assumptions. Science lets you test it, to make sure the assumptions are right but math lets you know whether you're essentially correct. Neither explains the why of things. Just ask someone why there are elementary particles in the number that there are and they can't do it, but from playing games I rarely care about the why's and more about the hows anyway.

In any case learning when you are wrong about things is hard to take, because being wrong feels exactly like being right until the truth is told. And math seems like the way that I'll be learning I'm wrong more and more, but to stay competitive I'll have to deal with it.