Making an Impact

Words are a tool I try to use to good effect. People don't want to hear what I have to say except as a way to open themselves up. So I question and tell stories. I feel that if I could just learn how to say more with fewer words I'd love it. Eloquent, that's an aspiration of mine.

I love storytellers, I just end up wanting to be the best speaker that I can be. If I talk to a lawyer I want to use legalese, a writer I like verse, a scientist I like theory.

So to make an impact I want to tell a story the best way I know about, movies games and books. but I'm still learning the craft.

Collections

I have a collection of Magic cards, one that is a few thousand too many, as I don't use most of them and I doubt I ever will. Not because I chose each one individually but because they came together, I don't collect much else, I have a few coins here and there mostly cause when I think about it, I'm reminded of Pirate hordes and I'd like to have a pirate horde privately stashed away from the world so that if it is discovered others are tremendously happy not to mention tremendously rich.

One day...

Anyhow I collect things more inside my head than anywhere else. I don't like souvenirs the always seem cheap and lifeless pictures need to tell a story and often they don't and I'm always watching my wallet as it tries to run off with new gadgets every chance it gets.

So I know stories, If you meet me and I learn about you I grasp every bit of knowledge about you that I can and file it away in my head. Your thoughts movie preferences, music taste, everything. So I know more exciting things about others, and I live somewhat viacariously through them as I know I can't travel to the parts of their lives that they choose to share. This doesn't mean I don't do things for myself, I jump at the chance, but it does mean that I feel like I'm really older than I am since I seem to have years of experience that isn't mine.

So when I'm asked about my age I often feel shocked to find that I'm only 23, (soon to be 24) And it just lets me know that I have so much left to say, do and experience that I, like Calvin may never die as there is too much left to live for. Unless of course I'm in a space, ninja battle trying to save a child from aliens. Then I just might be satisfied.

I do find that I try to collect interesting people's thoughts and idea and I limit myself from some people because when I do learn about people I unconsciously make them me for a moment. This may be why I have trouble with names, A Lee or a Kimberly may just be part of me for a day.

This post is now part of your collection of me as I know that to get things you often have to give something of yourself.

Sitting after the storm

There was a rare occurance this evening, a rainstorm over Vegas. I find that the end of a rainstorm is time fore contemplation and the end of the rain was especially awesome tonight. The storm still had lightning that it would let out every few minutes or so. The colors, a dark purple cloud that faded in and out of black, the orange of a streetlight shining off the buildings and roads, everything was in that state of let you know that the world has stopped for a moment, and invites someone to sit outside and watch as the sky shows off.

I happen to have a great place to do this a bench on the apartement grounds that was recently put in. However like most great places that one finds in a city the opportunity to nab it is rare, being as everyone wants to sit in this awesome bench. I got my opportunity tonight at midnight, where after the storm just before things dried the bench invitingly let me know that It was free.

There are other benches in the area but this one has a superior view so I sat down and observed the last of the sky's light fight, when the clash of white faded out. There was another man near, someone about my own age and we shared this moment. What went through his mind I dunno but he looked a little lost this evening and I hope the sit gave him a chance to find himself.

We had one of those moments when a stranger who you don't know if you'll ever see again seems to need the same thing as you. In this case a chance to let things wash over.

New things

New things are often scary, even mundane new things, like a new job. This last week I've started a new job. I now fix computers and I'm skipping school to do it. I stayed up all night on Sunday because like a child waiting for the first day of school, I was nervous. Would my co-workers like me? Will I know what to do? Can anyone teach me to be how to read minds? What if my boss is Mean? All questions that might be easily quelled had I someone to just sit and talk to in the apartment.

I think that when one is alone that your fears multiply and that when you get to talk with someone that everything turns out much better you might still have the same fears but new ones tend to go away. You don't even need to tell the people near you your problems you just need to have them near so that you can enjoy their company. Besides that if you hate those people you tend to forget your fears and plot their demise.

Anyway day 2 of the job was hectic I spent most of my time out of the office dealing with people whose need are at the top of the world and everything is going against them. Lucky for them they could vent at me but Unfortunately for me and my partner in tech there's not much I could say to ease their minds as I was part of the problem, that is at least in their heads I was.