Of course we all know that being able to put up with things is a laudable quality. We call it patience and I think that we all know people that have none of that. I think though if you want to gain patience you should wait for it. The thing is that those will seeming endless amounts of patience have a trick. I thought I'd let those who don't have it in on the secret.
Do something.
That's it.
If you want an explanation here it is:
When you have to wait for something if you focus on it the wait always seem longer. So old ladies in waiting rooms with something to knit aren't anymore patient than you or I. They just found something to keep them occupied.
The only problem is that you can never tell when you'll end up waiting for something. So this trick could require preparation. I suggest a pencil and eraser. Almost everywhere you go in our society you can find paper to write things in and those places that don't usually have a bathroom that could use some wall poetry. Doodles work too.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A Story
So I recently painted over a work for my painting class. In the painting I replaced a songbird on a branch with death. I made death into a "hippie" death. That is I painted death with some sandals that looked like Birkenstocks and the figure wasn't scary enough for my art instructor. She thought that death should be a frightening figure and that I wasn't giving death the proper treatment.
Needless to say I changed death to have more flowing robes and had blood drip from death's hands so that I could improve my grade. (I'm a sellout I'd rather have money than integrity since money can buy some integrity but you can't buy food with artistic vision.)
Anyway the thought came that I should write what I thought about how I view death and So I give you my reader this short story. It should not be taken seriously. I mean it.
A Conversation with Death
By Michael Mills esq.
I had a conversation with death the other day. Most people don't and this makes death lonely from time to time, but death is really a job title. The job is hard to get you have to know someone who knows someone and then there's a really strict vetting process and the pay is terrible. But the perks are great.
You see death is a job title given for a specific type of death i.e. heart attack, or stroke, and there are lots of jobs to make sure that everyone gets a death and guide into the afterlife.
But that isn't what I was talking to death or more specifically my death about. You see my death is something that hasn't happened to anyone else yet and she won't tell me what I die of. It is a rarity for death to be a girl but then I'm a rare type of person and she's a rare type of death.
I guess it's because the job caters to men with a penchant for wearing hoods and walking around with harvesting instruments that not many women apply for the position. Anyway since my death isn't for some time yet. (I think she said 2095) and it won't happen to other people until then she's got time on her hands to kill. She's rather good at that.
So we got to talking about how people act. She's really interested in people watching. And she told me how since she's still a newcomer to the job she gets training and gets to see many people's final hour.
Apparently the longer you live the less surprised you are when it's time to head out. She says that's because you get used to death hanging around for you. Everybody's death likes to check in from time to time apparently because deaths get something of a crush on you and it's hard not to check in on the one you love.
Another thing she said is that in the biz nobody's particularly anxious to get their prospective client. Apparently they get to spend plenty of time with you afterwards and most people need some "life seasoning" to make them tolerable. So you needn't worry about rushing into things.
As a side note death is hot. I'd take her out on the town but she's not much of a party person. If she were to show up she says the party loses life. Her loss.
I did get into an argument once saying that if her company would just let on what happens after we die people would talk death more often instead of avoiding the issue. She had two things to say to that. First that we weren't much for conversation. Which I pointed out that I indeed am much for conversation as she was speaking to me, and Secondly that she didn't have enough rank to change corporate policy which I entirely understand.
We then spoke of celebrating life which I was surprised to find she encouraged. Put this way she said: Life is rare, rarer than you might believe and it lasts for short and long periods all together on earth and without life she'd be out of a job. Apparently she thought and I agreed that when someone dies it's time to celebrate how they were instead of mourning loss. She also said that you should take some time to celebrate life while that person is still alive too.
She didn't think that a strip club was an appropriate place for that celebration though even if there is a policy of letting locals in free. Nor did she think that cupcakes with lots of frosting did the job the right way, "But what about lots of frosting and sprinkles and some punch?" I asked.
Still a no go.
I had a paper to write so she let me go telling me to stop procrastinating. I didn't but papers have a life of their own and this particular one looks to be evil soooo.....
It's hard having a conversation with an anthropomorphic version of your way of coping with your fear of the unknown but she makes up for it by being entirely enlightening.
Needless to say I changed death to have more flowing robes and had blood drip from death's hands so that I could improve my grade. (I'm a sellout I'd rather have money than integrity since money can buy some integrity but you can't buy food with artistic vision.)
Anyway the thought came that I should write what I thought about how I view death and So I give you my reader this short story. It should not be taken seriously. I mean it.
A Conversation with Death
By Michael Mills esq.
I had a conversation with death the other day. Most people don't and this makes death lonely from time to time, but death is really a job title. The job is hard to get you have to know someone who knows someone and then there's a really strict vetting process and the pay is terrible. But the perks are great.
You see death is a job title given for a specific type of death i.e. heart attack, or stroke, and there are lots of jobs to make sure that everyone gets a death and guide into the afterlife.
But that isn't what I was talking to death or more specifically my death about. You see my death is something that hasn't happened to anyone else yet and she won't tell me what I die of. It is a rarity for death to be a girl but then I'm a rare type of person and she's a rare type of death.
I guess it's because the job caters to men with a penchant for wearing hoods and walking around with harvesting instruments that not many women apply for the position. Anyway since my death isn't for some time yet. (I think she said 2095) and it won't happen to other people until then she's got time on her hands to kill. She's rather good at that.
So we got to talking about how people act. She's really interested in people watching. And she told me how since she's still a newcomer to the job she gets training and gets to see many people's final hour.
Apparently the longer you live the less surprised you are when it's time to head out. She says that's because you get used to death hanging around for you. Everybody's death likes to check in from time to time apparently because deaths get something of a crush on you and it's hard not to check in on the one you love.
Another thing she said is that in the biz nobody's particularly anxious to get their prospective client. Apparently they get to spend plenty of time with you afterwards and most people need some "life seasoning" to make them tolerable. So you needn't worry about rushing into things.
As a side note death is hot. I'd take her out on the town but she's not much of a party person. If she were to show up she says the party loses life. Her loss.
I did get into an argument once saying that if her company would just let on what happens after we die people would talk death more often instead of avoiding the issue. She had two things to say to that. First that we weren't much for conversation. Which I pointed out that I indeed am much for conversation as she was speaking to me, and Secondly that she didn't have enough rank to change corporate policy which I entirely understand.
We then spoke of celebrating life which I was surprised to find she encouraged. Put this way she said: Life is rare, rarer than you might believe and it lasts for short and long periods all together on earth and without life she'd be out of a job. Apparently she thought and I agreed that when someone dies it's time to celebrate how they were instead of mourning loss. She also said that you should take some time to celebrate life while that person is still alive too.
She didn't think that a strip club was an appropriate place for that celebration though even if there is a policy of letting locals in free. Nor did she think that cupcakes with lots of frosting did the job the right way, "But what about lots of frosting and sprinkles and some punch?" I asked.
Still a no go.
I had a paper to write so she let me go telling me to stop procrastinating. I didn't but papers have a life of their own and this particular one looks to be evil soooo.....
It's hard having a conversation with an anthropomorphic version of your way of coping with your fear of the unknown but she makes up for it by being entirely enlightening.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Trigger
Whenever you watch certain movies or show's you find yourself connecting to them even if it's not entirely your situation. The movie brings up a time when the world that just seems to never let go. As you can see by this marvelous segue I'll be bringing up a movie that does that for me.
The movie is by Stanley Kubrick and the name of it is Full Metal Jacket. Now I never went into a combat situation and I've never seen anyone shoot another person but as most of the movie covers a boot camp situation I can relate at least a bit.
My brother watched it with me and had to ask some questions about military life especially how accurate the movie is to some details. Which reminds me the drill sergeant in it was spot on. Especially seeing as the whole bit was unscripted. We didn't have drill sergeants in the navy however I know boot camp was instilled a fear of petty officers into new recruits.
However as the time went I had one of my best memories ever in that place. At the end of boot camp was a test known as battle stations. There were many events in it most of which was a hell of a lot of fun for me swimming, shooting, seamanship things like rope tying, firefighting, and staying up all night. It sounds like a great summer vacation except for the running and yelling that went with it.
The lead up to this night sucked but "Battle Stations" was fun. Anyway there was a time when people had to make decisions in this exercise. And a few days before the Captain of the Base had made a speech where he talked about leadership, sacrifice and willingness to lay down our lives for our country. It inspired quite a few people.
I thought that I'd seen better speeches made by members of the Elko speech and debate team.
Anyway when the night of battle stations came there was a question asked of everyone there which was basically this: Who hear is ready to give their life for your county. and we were asked to move from one line to another if we would. Everyone but me and our scribe moved over to the other line.
And then the Petty Officer came over and had to ask us why we made this choice as it was rather unusual to see people in the Military not go over to the other line and was about ready, at least as far as I could tell, to bring me back into line as well as our scribe. And so when asked I gave that great answer that makes me proud of me, and of my memory that allowed me to think of what I value which is great movie lines. and I said I didn't join to die for my country, I joined to make the other bastard die for his. This made the petty officer smile. And he promptly told the other line that they had all died. (Dieing was the penalty major mistakes that night) and that we are supposed to be the smartest military in the world and that to think on our feet and be able to work on our own to complete a mission was quite necessary.
I'm fairly sure that he didn't plan on saying this but I think that this particular man was smart enough to turn a good answer to his way of working. Anyway the scribe who stood next to me didn't have my knowledge of movie lines and had to respond that he joined for the same reason as me. He was promptly made fun of for joining only for college benefits. Poor guy, the snappy line quota was taken for the day.
There were some sullen faces in the other line who complained of being confused by the speech earlier that week which made that bit of that night really good. I love sore losers when I get to be the classy winner. It makes me feel so good. Granted I'm not being classy here but nobody there is reading this now so I get to lord it over nobody YES!
Bringing things back to movie. I'm not a big fan of war. Lets try and figure out how to not have war especially if we can do it without bad protests that don't work. I just remembered the protesters who showed up at funerals. ugh. Seeing as I've brought you down from a blogger's high I can now leave you.
The movie is by Stanley Kubrick and the name of it is Full Metal Jacket. Now I never went into a combat situation and I've never seen anyone shoot another person but as most of the movie covers a boot camp situation I can relate at least a bit.
My brother watched it with me and had to ask some questions about military life especially how accurate the movie is to some details. Which reminds me the drill sergeant in it was spot on. Especially seeing as the whole bit was unscripted. We didn't have drill sergeants in the navy however I know boot camp was instilled a fear of petty officers into new recruits.
However as the time went I had one of my best memories ever in that place. At the end of boot camp was a test known as battle stations. There were many events in it most of which was a hell of a lot of fun for me swimming, shooting, seamanship things like rope tying, firefighting, and staying up all night. It sounds like a great summer vacation except for the running and yelling that went with it.
The lead up to this night sucked but "Battle Stations" was fun. Anyway there was a time when people had to make decisions in this exercise. And a few days before the Captain of the Base had made a speech where he talked about leadership, sacrifice and willingness to lay down our lives for our country. It inspired quite a few people.
I thought that I'd seen better speeches made by members of the Elko speech and debate team.
Anyway when the night of battle stations came there was a question asked of everyone there which was basically this: Who hear is ready to give their life for your county. and we were asked to move from one line to another if we would. Everyone but me and our scribe moved over to the other line.
And then the Petty Officer came over and had to ask us why we made this choice as it was rather unusual to see people in the Military not go over to the other line and was about ready, at least as far as I could tell, to bring me back into line as well as our scribe. And so when asked I gave that great answer that makes me proud of me, and of my memory that allowed me to think of what I value which is great movie lines. and I said I didn't join to die for my country, I joined to make the other bastard die for his. This made the petty officer smile. And he promptly told the other line that they had all died. (Dieing was the penalty major mistakes that night) and that we are supposed to be the smartest military in the world and that to think on our feet and be able to work on our own to complete a mission was quite necessary.
I'm fairly sure that he didn't plan on saying this but I think that this particular man was smart enough to turn a good answer to his way of working. Anyway the scribe who stood next to me didn't have my knowledge of movie lines and had to respond that he joined for the same reason as me. He was promptly made fun of for joining only for college benefits. Poor guy, the snappy line quota was taken for the day.
There were some sullen faces in the other line who complained of being confused by the speech earlier that week which made that bit of that night really good. I love sore losers when I get to be the classy winner. It makes me feel so good. Granted I'm not being classy here but nobody there is reading this now so I get to lord it over nobody YES!
Bringing things back to movie. I'm not a big fan of war. Lets try and figure out how to not have war especially if we can do it without bad protests that don't work. I just remembered the protesters who showed up at funerals. ugh. Seeing as I've brought you down from a blogger's high I can now leave you.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Creating a new thing
So I've been assigned to make multiple collages for a painting class of mine and I've been thinking about creating things. A lot of what we consider to be a great new idea turns out to be a couple of old ideas in a costume hanging out together so that nobody recognizes them anymore.
And recently I've heard of the idea that many people who create a thing have no idea what that thing will be used for. For instance there are people who have created a water filter that works by pedaling a bicycle, so that people in South Asian and African countries who have to travel to their water can have clean water.
Which by the way could be the cause of some of the next major wars. With the continuing population boom; water, especially clean water is increasingly in demand. There are even people who are buying up water rights in Texas so that in a decade or two they can capitalize off of the needs of cities to have water.
Which brings me back to creating things. In modern American society much of what people do is consume, and serve and never do we really create items. This was started way back in the 70s when business culture went from a model of long term stability and value to short term profit and high risk/high return ventures. So creating things came out as a negative as it took time and resources without large returns where everyone could get rich quick.
The addage goes that everyone wants to create and no one wants to maintain anything, but I think it's more that creators think that everything that they make ought to be maintained without their input and a ride for life off of one act.
Which is why I think journalists are dying off. People don't care about articles for the most part as they are not interactive and everyone wants to have their own two cents counted. Writers are disappointed when their articles aren't read and people turn directly to sports, stocks and editorials.
I don't think bloggers want to be journalists or that journalists create news. So I won't cry when the newspaper dies. Ads were their business and not the news, I just hope that they realize that for the most part unlike me, people don't actively want their destruction.
For most people the most beautiful thing they can hear is "I'm listening" and have that statement be true.
We all want to create a new thing and have someone care. Anyway if you got something to show and tell lemme know. It's worth a try.
And recently I've heard of the idea that many people who create a thing have no idea what that thing will be used for. For instance there are people who have created a water filter that works by pedaling a bicycle, so that people in South Asian and African countries who have to travel to their water can have clean water.
Which by the way could be the cause of some of the next major wars. With the continuing population boom; water, especially clean water is increasingly in demand. There are even people who are buying up water rights in Texas so that in a decade or two they can capitalize off of the needs of cities to have water.
Which brings me back to creating things. In modern American society much of what people do is consume, and serve and never do we really create items. This was started way back in the 70s when business culture went from a model of long term stability and value to short term profit and high risk/high return ventures. So creating things came out as a negative as it took time and resources without large returns where everyone could get rich quick.
The addage goes that everyone wants to create and no one wants to maintain anything, but I think it's more that creators think that everything that they make ought to be maintained without their input and a ride for life off of one act.
Which is why I think journalists are dying off. People don't care about articles for the most part as they are not interactive and everyone wants to have their own two cents counted. Writers are disappointed when their articles aren't read and people turn directly to sports, stocks and editorials.
I don't think bloggers want to be journalists or that journalists create news. So I won't cry when the newspaper dies. Ads were their business and not the news, I just hope that they realize that for the most part unlike me, people don't actively want their destruction.
For most people the most beautiful thing they can hear is "I'm listening" and have that statement be true.
We all want to create a new thing and have someone care. Anyway if you got something to show and tell lemme know. It's worth a try.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Starting again
Every year around this time it seems I get to start again. Be it the school, or the Navy I've always had this time to make a new start. This time I'm starting at a negative, that is a negative cash flow. It seems university life is expensive. Who Knew?!
So I'm waiting for the Veterans Affairs office to send me money to school myself. And I'm finding that waiting for uncertain money makes a man nervous. It's an itch on the back of my mind saying "You there worry more!" and I don't like to worry I find it makes me less likely to smile and more likely to hate everyone.
And I found out why this afternoon. It's evolutionary my dear reader. If you worry and depress yourself you make yourself a more analytical person and focus more on your problems, making it more likely that you'll fix said problems just to make this awful feeling go the hell away.
So the next time you worry figure out what to do and do it. It'll go away and we can go out and have a good time.
So I'm waiting for the Veterans Affairs office to send me money to school myself. And I'm finding that waiting for uncertain money makes a man nervous. It's an itch on the back of my mind saying "You there worry more!" and I don't like to worry I find it makes me less likely to smile and more likely to hate everyone.
And I found out why this afternoon. It's evolutionary my dear reader. If you worry and depress yourself you make yourself a more analytical person and focus more on your problems, making it more likely that you'll fix said problems just to make this awful feeling go the hell away.
So the next time you worry figure out what to do and do it. It'll go away and we can go out and have a good time.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thoughts
So I'm still learning, and I've got the general feeling of I don't belong here, that I hear is common among people in talented disciplines. The worst part of it is that I'm not sure one way or another if I'm just insecure, or should be doing something different.
One thing I know is that most people don't know what they want to do for the rest of their life, until it's mostly over. I also know that part of the reason to feel like this is that risk like this is hard to judge until afterward.
Unlike Robert Frost's narration I'm actually taking a road less traveled. He did take a road less traveled but the poem's personage didn't.
In other news the newspaper is dying and I'm pushing it into the coffin.
One thing I know is that most people don't know what they want to do for the rest of their life, until it's mostly over. I also know that part of the reason to feel like this is that risk like this is hard to judge until afterward.
Unlike Robert Frost's narration I'm actually taking a road less traveled. He did take a road less traveled but the poem's personage didn't.
In other news the newspaper is dying and I'm pushing it into the coffin.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Neon Lights fade for a moment
I'm working right now on some pieces for an art show next week, and school projects besides, I don't expect much but the experience has me thinking how a person metamorphs throughout life. We go through the usual experiences of childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, adulthood, and elderly, but those are trivial to me.
The changes that interest me are the decisions that turn us down one path or another. Movies, stories and the like act as if your decisions can be subconscious, or forced by fate, but those decisions don't change who you are. It is the ones we make knowing full well that there are other lives, other people that we could be that make me think.
Prostitutes in Nevada are looking for a tax to be put on them so they can gain some form of legitimacy as an industry. This is a decision to become society instead of a fringe part of it. I wonder when though did people decide to become the edge and what makes them push to take away part of what is them to become something new.
Shows like "House" say that people don't change, I can't believe that.
The changes that interest me are the decisions that turn us down one path or another. Movies, stories and the like act as if your decisions can be subconscious, or forced by fate, but those decisions don't change who you are. It is the ones we make knowing full well that there are other lives, other people that we could be that make me think.
Prostitutes in Nevada are looking for a tax to be put on them so they can gain some form of legitimacy as an industry. This is a decision to become society instead of a fringe part of it. I wonder when though did people decide to become the edge and what makes them push to take away part of what is them to become something new.
Shows like "House" say that people don't change, I can't believe that.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Other Worlds
If there is anything that keeps me from doing work more than the Idea of other worlds, especially other worlds that I could visit and interact in I have yet to learn of it. Books, Games, Movies, practically my whole life revolves around other worlds and the rules that govern them. If I play a game or watch a movie nothing takes me out of a world more than rules of the world being broken.
This is a very hard thing for writers to accomplish and I realize this. Writers are constantly plagued by continuity errors, or even worse having their vision misunderstood, and people calling or rather writing them out, on.
However even if there are errors concepts will keep me in if the world has problems. Netflix, that wonderful service that is giving me streaming movies, has provided me with Sliders, a series that is all about visiting other earths, or rather the same earth in different dimensions. I realize that this makes me an anomaly as most men read (if they read at all) Non-fiction, whereas women read fiction. (Citatation Needed)
(Which might explain why I like to talk to women more than I like talking to men; that or boobs)
Back to sliders, I continue watching the series dispite characters being more or less stupid because world creation is important to me. By the way Y The Last Man The comic didn't really hold me as far as story went but the world created held my attention as I'd really like to see how things would change in a world where men are a commodity, of course for me I'd like to know it from the women's point of view seeing as I've pretty much got the guys side covered.
Anyway One last lit drop Slaughterhouse Five was a reread for me this week. Second time through I'll have to say was just as good as the first. Pick it up if you have the chance.
Laters,
Zex
This is a very hard thing for writers to accomplish and I realize this. Writers are constantly plagued by continuity errors, or even worse having their vision misunderstood, and people calling or rather writing them out, on.
However even if there are errors concepts will keep me in if the world has problems. Netflix, that wonderful service that is giving me streaming movies, has provided me with Sliders, a series that is all about visiting other earths, or rather the same earth in different dimensions. I realize that this makes me an anomaly as most men read (if they read at all) Non-fiction, whereas women read fiction. (Citatation Needed)
(Which might explain why I like to talk to women more than I like talking to men; that or boobs)
Back to sliders, I continue watching the series dispite characters being more or less stupid because world creation is important to me. By the way Y The Last Man The comic didn't really hold me as far as story went but the world created held my attention as I'd really like to see how things would change in a world where men are a commodity, of course for me I'd like to know it from the women's point of view seeing as I've pretty much got the guys side covered.
Anyway One last lit drop Slaughterhouse Five was a reread for me this week. Second time through I'll have to say was just as good as the first. Pick it up if you have the chance.
Laters,
Zex
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ending Over 2 Months of not posting things
So the last couple of months have been busy for me. School has started up again on me and I'm finding that this semester is more than a little boring. I'm ending up with 2 Art History courses and a Biology Course that are lecture classes each at about an hour and a half long. I'm convinced that these courses actually bend time. For each hour that is spent in these courses I swear that 7.23 days pass by me. In order that the time spent in these things to be only the hour and some change that they swear they are space and time must be bent and squished and if we can figure out how this is accomplished we may be able to make people live for damn near ever.
New Years Eve and the following week left me broke and as such I've only had enough money for rent for the past month and the trend is continuing into this month. Well, rent and tuition. The situation is starting to clear, but until march I forsee no new and dramatic measures from this one to save the economy. I know that Matt predicts crazy new problems for the country in the form of New Deal Style legislation but currently I'm sure that we are living in a part of history that is drier than most parts I've heard about.
There is a lot of energy needed to change the world and right now everything seems to be in a compression state like a spring that is being pushed tightly together waiting for release. Or perhaps more excitingly like the energy of a woman as she is slowly excited to action by her lover, slow at first but picking up energy as things go along.
Of course all this comes from the eyes of a student wanting to get things over with this semester.
I've spent so very much of my life in institutions and schools that I'm starting to see tests in my dreams and desks in my nightmares. And then I'll go to class and see that I do, especially in art Classes is similar to others in only that we paint, draw or create, but everything I do resembles nothing of anyone else. And I wonder if my eyes are broken.
However, everyone who meets me always have let me know that I'll do just fine, in fact there's something that I don't see that everyone else sees and I wonder if I'm just too close to the trees to see the forest.
In other news go read http://www.fmylife.com/top for a good laugh.
New Years Eve and the following week left me broke and as such I've only had enough money for rent for the past month and the trend is continuing into this month. Well, rent and tuition. The situation is starting to clear, but until march I forsee no new and dramatic measures from this one to save the economy. I know that Matt predicts crazy new problems for the country in the form of New Deal Style legislation but currently I'm sure that we are living in a part of history that is drier than most parts I've heard about.
There is a lot of energy needed to change the world and right now everything seems to be in a compression state like a spring that is being pushed tightly together waiting for release. Or perhaps more excitingly like the energy of a woman as she is slowly excited to action by her lover, slow at first but picking up energy as things go along.
Of course all this comes from the eyes of a student wanting to get things over with this semester.
I've spent so very much of my life in institutions and schools that I'm starting to see tests in my dreams and desks in my nightmares. And then I'll go to class and see that I do, especially in art Classes is similar to others in only that we paint, draw or create, but everything I do resembles nothing of anyone else. And I wonder if my eyes are broken.
However, everyone who meets me always have let me know that I'll do just fine, in fact there's something that I don't see that everyone else sees and I wonder if I'm just too close to the trees to see the forest.
In other news go read http://www.fmylife.com/top for a good laugh.
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