A Story

So I recently painted over a work for my painting class. In the painting I replaced a songbird on a branch with death. I made death into a "hippie" death. That is I painted death with some sandals that looked like Birkenstocks and the figure wasn't scary enough for my art instructor. She thought that death should be a frightening figure and that I wasn't giving death the proper treatment.

Needless to say I changed death to have more flowing robes and had blood drip from death's hands so that I could improve my grade. (I'm a sellout I'd rather have money than integrity since money can buy some integrity but you can't buy food with artistic vision.)

Anyway the thought came that I should write what I thought about how I view death and So I give you my reader this short story. It should not be taken seriously. I mean it.

A Conversation with Death

By Michael Mills esq.

I had a conversation with death the other day. Most people don't and this makes death lonely from time to time, but death is really a job title. The job is hard to get you have to know someone who knows someone and then there's a really strict vetting process and the pay is terrible. But the perks are great.

You see death is a job title given for a specific type of death i.e. heart attack, or stroke, and there are lots of jobs to make sure that everyone gets a death and guide into the afterlife.

But that isn't what I was talking to death or more specifically my death about. You see my death is something that hasn't happened to anyone else yet and she won't tell me what I die of. It is a rarity for death to be a girl but then I'm a rare type of person and she's a rare type of death.

I guess it's because the job caters to men with a penchant for wearing hoods and walking around with harvesting instruments that not many women apply for the position. Anyway since my death isn't for some time yet. (I think she said 2095) and it won't happen to other people until then she's got time on her hands to kill. She's rather good at that.

So we got to talking about how people act. She's really interested in people watching. And she told me how since she's still a newcomer to the job she gets training and gets to see many people's final hour.

Apparently the longer you live the less surprised you are when it's time to head out. She says that's because you get used to death hanging around for you. Everybody's death likes to check in from time to time apparently because deaths get something of a crush on you and it's hard not to check in on the one you love.

Another thing she said is that in the biz nobody's particularly anxious to get their prospective client. Apparently they get to spend plenty of time with you afterwards and most people need some "life seasoning" to make them tolerable. So you needn't worry about rushing into things.

As a side note death is hot. I'd take her out on the town but she's not much of a party person. If she were to show up she says the party loses life. Her loss.

I did get into an argument once saying that if her company would just let on what happens after we die people would talk death more often instead of avoiding the issue. She had two things to say to that. First that we weren't much for conversation. Which I pointed out that I indeed am much for conversation as she was speaking to me, and Secondly that she didn't have enough rank to change corporate policy which I entirely understand.

We then spoke of celebrating life which I was surprised to find she encouraged. Put this way she said: Life is rare, rarer than you might believe and it lasts for short and long periods all together on earth and without life she'd be out of a job. Apparently she thought and I agreed that when someone dies it's time to celebrate how they were instead of mourning loss. She also said that you should take some time to celebrate life while that person is still alive too.

She didn't think that a strip club was an appropriate place for that celebration though even if there is a policy of letting locals in free. Nor did she think that cupcakes with lots of frosting did the job the right way, "But what about lots of frosting and sprinkles and some punch?" I asked.
Still a no go.

I had a paper to write so she let me go telling me to stop procrastinating. I didn't but papers have a life of their own and this particular one looks to be evil soooo.....

It's hard having a conversation with an anthropomorphic version of your way of coping with your fear of the unknown but she makes up for it by being entirely enlightening.