I bring this up only because there is a elderly woman on campus who sets off my "danger sense" whenever I'm near her. She's been attending the school as a student for some time now as an art major, or at least she's enrolled in classes as an evaluator, I'm not sure the circumstances. Suffice it to say I don't know why she's in the college and I wish she weren't.
This particular woman has mood swings, I'd say bi-polar but really I'm thinking crazy. One day nice old woman with a cart that's always with her, next day hissing viper. I've even been warned by one instructor to avoid contact with the old lady as she's not stable. Physically I don't think she's scary but it's the fact that I couldn't easily deal with her if she flipped, that makes me uncomfortable. I mean you can't just punch someone that's mean.
Anyway I'd say she's lonely but she treats everyone like shit. Except the pigeons. Still I can't say that's a redeeming quality.
Thinking about her made me think of Terry Pratchett and how he feels about his Alzheimer's disease. I'd hate to get to a point where people only have to glance at me to see that something's wrong, and that everyone would be powerless to do anything about it.
Before writing this post I had to look up the infamous Dr. Kevorkian and see exactly what that man is about. I've only ever heard his name as associated with evil and I think that when a person gets that kind of reputation in controversy you need to know more about the situation.
He claimed to have helped 130 patients and was convicted on a video of his assisting a patient with als to kill himself. I've heard it said that suicide is one of the most selfish acts a person can commit but when a person can't move their limbs, or is in constant pain with no relief other than to lose their ability to think, I'm not convinced that that state something that we should inflict on them.
The scariest thing to me is to "lose my mind" and no longer be me. It seems to me to be a type of living death or worse that someone has stolen my identity to destroy the memory of me. This is an area in which I think careful consideration must be taken in every case but the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness surely include the rights of choosing how to die (part of life) and how to live your life(liberty) and if a person is trying to end pain and misery (happiness) then I think that our country ought to support people in these hard situations instead of ostracizing them.
None of which helps me when I think of the crazy old lady. She'll live on just to spite people like me.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Why presentation is everything.
So tonight was a bit off the beaten path in thought processes for me. First I went to my old apartment to check the mail. Since I'm not sure quite how many people I still need to notify about my change in address. Anyway the story starts when I reach the door outside the old building.
There was a woman and child in the foyer of where a person goes to check the mail. The door is locked so that only residents can enter the building with keys from management. As I was walking up this lady kindly opens the door for me, as I'm walking my bike in. I go to check the mail and she then approaches me and asks me in a sweet little voice.
"Do you smoke weed?"
Now this has caught me quite off guard since for the first time in my life I am now being approached by a drug dealer. I shouldn't be surprised when this happens since I'm now an art student with long hair and I often forget to shave. I'm looking kinda hippy right now.
Needless to say I wasn't prepared for this and my brain caused me to double take. At first I wondered if she was asking me for some, and I my immediate reaction was nope I don't have any. I've never had any, I've just never sought it out and that's the type of thing that usually requires some hunting before you get it.
Anyway she corrected me and showed me a bag of what I assume was weed, and told me I could have it for some price that included $5 it might have been 5 45 25 or any such but speaking as soft as she did I wasn't quite sure I had the right number. It was a small bag but from what I hear which isn't much the price seemed low maybe? I couldn't tell.
My wallet was in my back pocket and at this point seeing the woman's child I felt really charitable. But for some reason my hands pulled the I can't find my wallet even though it's right next to my butt. Not that I could have bought anything. I'm a student, it's nearly always empty.
So anyway she left telling me an apartment I could go to if I wanted to pick some up. Now here's the part where time and presentation change. I go sort my mail and find I infact have money in my wallet as I'm planning on seeing the Hoover Dam this weekend and I figured I should have money to buy a ticket when I get there. But the woman and child have me feeling like I could be a savior so I head to the named apartment.
I have in my head an idea that she's a single mom who's selling marijuana to support her kid while trying to make it in the big city. (I'm a sucker for a good sob story) And here's a guy who can help her by making a small donation to this worthy cause.
But as I walk down the hallway towards the door numbered W336 I hear two things that stop me cold in my tracks.
1. Loud music. I lived in a place where people couldn't resist playing loud music at the worst times of day. 8am -3am you could have your ears accosted at any time from somebody who didn't realize that other people didn't want to hear your sh*t at any time let alone 10 at night when finals are tomorrow and someone need to study.
2. The deal breaker: a loud angry man voice, this shatters my first illusion, that I might help out a single quiet mom who's got a poor kid to care for. Next when the loud man voice stops I hear a loud woman voice. Suddenly if I want to get myself narcotics which I'm not used to in the first place, I have to enter in on a fight between two people who sound like they're arguing about money, work, and other life details that frankly I deal with without fighting people over.
I'll grant you here that I'm a coward. I could deal with a woman who posed no threat, but I wasn't ready to deal with 2 people in a bad mood.
I like hero. I don't like nosy neighbor who complains about the music and enters when others are talking(or shouting) serious matters. I tiptoe away hoping that one day I can be a knight in shining armor (who gets the gold of course) to someone who doesn't go from madam to monster in 10 minutes.
There was a woman and child in the foyer of where a person goes to check the mail. The door is locked so that only residents can enter the building with keys from management. As I was walking up this lady kindly opens the door for me, as I'm walking my bike in. I go to check the mail and she then approaches me and asks me in a sweet little voice.
"Do you smoke weed?"
Now this has caught me quite off guard since for the first time in my life I am now being approached by a drug dealer. I shouldn't be surprised when this happens since I'm now an art student with long hair and I often forget to shave. I'm looking kinda hippy right now.
Needless to say I wasn't prepared for this and my brain caused me to double take. At first I wondered if she was asking me for some, and I my immediate reaction was nope I don't have any. I've never had any, I've just never sought it out and that's the type of thing that usually requires some hunting before you get it.
Anyway she corrected me and showed me a bag of what I assume was weed, and told me I could have it for some price that included $5 it might have been 5 45 25 or any such but speaking as soft as she did I wasn't quite sure I had the right number. It was a small bag but from what I hear which isn't much the price seemed low maybe? I couldn't tell.
My wallet was in my back pocket and at this point seeing the woman's child I felt really charitable. But for some reason my hands pulled the I can't find my wallet even though it's right next to my butt. Not that I could have bought anything. I'm a student, it's nearly always empty.
So anyway she left telling me an apartment I could go to if I wanted to pick some up. Now here's the part where time and presentation change. I go sort my mail and find I infact have money in my wallet as I'm planning on seeing the Hoover Dam this weekend and I figured I should have money to buy a ticket when I get there. But the woman and child have me feeling like I could be a savior so I head to the named apartment.
I have in my head an idea that she's a single mom who's selling marijuana to support her kid while trying to make it in the big city. (I'm a sucker for a good sob story) And here's a guy who can help her by making a small donation to this worthy cause.
But as I walk down the hallway towards the door numbered W336 I hear two things that stop me cold in my tracks.
1. Loud music. I lived in a place where people couldn't resist playing loud music at the worst times of day. 8am -3am you could have your ears accosted at any time from somebody who didn't realize that other people didn't want to hear your sh*t at any time let alone 10 at night when finals are tomorrow and someone need to study.
2. The deal breaker: a loud angry man voice, this shatters my first illusion, that I might help out a single quiet mom who's got a poor kid to care for. Next when the loud man voice stops I hear a loud woman voice. Suddenly if I want to get myself narcotics which I'm not used to in the first place, I have to enter in on a fight between two people who sound like they're arguing about money, work, and other life details that frankly I deal with without fighting people over.
I'll grant you here that I'm a coward. I could deal with a woman who posed no threat, but I wasn't ready to deal with 2 people in a bad mood.
I like hero. I don't like nosy neighbor who complains about the music and enters when others are talking(or shouting) serious matters. I tiptoe away hoping that one day I can be a knight in shining armor (who gets the gold of course) to someone who doesn't go from madam to monster in 10 minutes.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Thoughts that keep me up.
There are times when I listen to news and when I read that I have thoughts that keep me up at night. Here's a list of them
Feminism; I like some of the ideals of feminism equality, and choice but I haven't met a person who describes themself as a feminist that I like. I just get the impression of man hate from them. It seems there's plenty of man hate allready and we don't need more. I mean war is the ultimate expression of this. We protect the important things, women and children, and send the unimportant things, men off to die.
Governments, People need to move past the idea of us versus them as men. When people worry about nations attacking each other there is an us versus them mentality. We can communicate instantly across the globe, we need global government so we're not worried about North Korea, China, Russia, and Greece hurting us and more caring about how our people can't find enough to eat, can't access the internet, need a bailout and such. We could break things into states to allow local control of important things but we need a world government.
School
Work
Money
I think I've written about this before I'm sure, but it's time for a update on staying awake.
Feminism; I like some of the ideals of feminism equality, and choice but I haven't met a person who describes themself as a feminist that I like. I just get the impression of man hate from them. It seems there's plenty of man hate allready and we don't need more. I mean war is the ultimate expression of this. We protect the important things, women and children, and send the unimportant things, men off to die.
Governments, People need to move past the idea of us versus them as men. When people worry about nations attacking each other there is an us versus them mentality. We can communicate instantly across the globe, we need global government so we're not worried about North Korea, China, Russia, and Greece hurting us and more caring about how our people can't find enough to eat, can't access the internet, need a bailout and such. We could break things into states to allow local control of important things but we need a world government.
School
Work
Money
I think I've written about this before I'm sure, but it's time for a update on staying awake.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Day 30 Goal
So having made it through 30 Days of blogging, and 3 weeks of dieting I'm glad to give some results. I've lost 10 pounds, and I tried some fast food and drinks and they made me sick. I'm thinking that switching over to fresh foods for 3 weeks made greasy food and alcohol make my body react like it'd been poisoned.
In other news I watched the movie kick-ass today. It was excellent. I highly recommend it. Made me want to be a super-hero. Except for the getting stabbed part. Someone ruined that part for me and I figured you want the same experience I had so I'm helping you out.
In other news I watched the movie kick-ass today. It was excellent. I highly recommend it. Made me want to be a super-hero. Except for the getting stabbed part. Someone ruined that part for me and I figured you want the same experience I had so I'm helping you out.
Day 29 My drunk post.
My friend Matt was here today and we went out. By this I mean that we got drunk. His friends and I went to a Chinese Restaurant and had fun. Anyway the weekend ended without incident. I'm smart enough to know my limits, and the limits of Las Vegas.
I think that anyone that goes to the "Strip" in Las Vegas has an idea in their head that doesn't correspond to the reality of what happens. Mostly everything is a disappointing exercise in finding out who isn't attracted to you, and how broke you actually are.
In any event I'm surprised how much $35 Dollars worth of alcohol at P.F. Changs can reach, if you get a party of people together.
I think that anyone that goes to the "Strip" in Las Vegas has an idea in their head that doesn't correspond to the reality of what happens. Mostly everything is a disappointing exercise in finding out who isn't attracted to you, and how broke you actually are.
In any event I'm surprised how much $35 Dollars worth of alcohol at P.F. Changs can reach, if you get a party of people together.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Day 28
I have a guest today. So I'm hoping I can be a good host. It's always strange having a guest over, the place gets a cursory cleaning, along the lines of a old navy saying smells clean, is clean. So a wipe down of surfaces, laundry that's been waiting for a week cleans up and hides in the closet and I worry whether or not I have the right mix of drinks to keep my guest happy.
I think it comes down to the idea that people to me have a time investment value, If something is for me I can spend less time on it since I'm always living with my self and I know what to expect. If something is for someone else a little bit of polish ought to go with it, other people need to know that they're important as a person can easily lose reputation, but not easily gain it. Just think of all the famous people that get pulled down for one thing or another. Many times it isn't all you do right that people see it's all that you do wrong. So for other people added value is worth the time. I'd like to think they'd do the same for me.
I think it comes down to the idea that people to me have a time investment value, If something is for me I can spend less time on it since I'm always living with my self and I know what to expect. If something is for someone else a little bit of polish ought to go with it, other people need to know that they're important as a person can easily lose reputation, but not easily gain it. Just think of all the famous people that get pulled down for one thing or another. Many times it isn't all you do right that people see it's all that you do wrong. So for other people added value is worth the time. I'd like to think they'd do the same for me.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Day 27
I've recently read another Chuck Palahniuk book, of Fight Club, and Choke fame. This Guy is someone I'm never sure who to recommend to. Not my mom he writes mostly gross out comedy, with a twist. I don't know many people who read as much as I do. It took me somewhere within 24 hours to read the book which is a light read at 200 pages.
On one hand I wouldn't write something like a Palahniuk book, since I'm not a particularly edgy person, I've never been able to discuss topics like sex, and religion without feeling uncomfortable. Part of it is people aren't disabused of notions when you talk about these things, nobody I know is converted through debate.
On the other hand, when I read people who push the envelope I'm sure that I like to hear those things. I like comedy like George Carlin, and South Park, they always make me think that there's hope for things to change because if you can make these things funny you're ussually pretty insightful.
3 More days of daily updates. Maybe I'll continue after that, I'm partially doing this to make writing a habit.
On one hand I wouldn't write something like a Palahniuk book, since I'm not a particularly edgy person, I've never been able to discuss topics like sex, and religion without feeling uncomfortable. Part of it is people aren't disabused of notions when you talk about these things, nobody I know is converted through debate.
On the other hand, when I read people who push the envelope I'm sure that I like to hear those things. I like comedy like George Carlin, and South Park, they always make me think that there's hope for things to change because if you can make these things funny you're ussually pretty insightful.
3 More days of daily updates. Maybe I'll continue after that, I'm partially doing this to make writing a habit.
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