If you have ever travel long distances by yourself in a car you know that there's a bit of insanity involved in the whole process. The road tries to sway you to sleep while you're traveling 70 miles an hour vs people who are doing the same opposite to you.
I thought I'd let you in on a bit of my trip.
Stage One: Exiting Las Vegas.
At this stage of my trip extreme paranoia sets in. I went down a major 3 lane road, that had been reduced to one lane only and hit every red light. People in giant moving boxes tried to squeeze in front of me defying all laws of physics and Every radio station played only ads. I was conserving the batteries on my laptop for the rest of the trip but Vegas was looking to punish me for daring to leave its' bright lights behind.
Stage Two: The Desert Madness.
When the radio finally runs out of country stations I decide to switch to my laptop for music. It seems that country music is aptly named as I don't hear much of it in the cities but outside of the cities the stations persist much more than any other. But even country music stations must give way to the wasteland that lies between me and my destination.
At some point I realize that my computer is set up so that I hear songs that move my emotions in all directions. I sing along to songs about happiness, sadness, anger, love, loss and Even a few nonsense songs. I've become the greatest lead singer in all the world complete with backup singers. Never mind if I miss a lyric here or there, the car is the number one place to be if you gotta sing.
Stage Three: Madness
The sky darkens as night start to fall arround me and I've used all my emotions up for now. The tendrils of darkness that start to creep around make for a crazy visual and I imagine myself being chased by the shadows. There is only one hope my headlights must drive back that which is trying to get me. Unfortunately the lights of the traffic in the opposite direction make it so I can't in good conscious use my brights. Apparently Vegas is the place to be for giving thanks this year.
I start to feel in a trance and I get some great ideas for stories, like what if the falling stars in the sky are the evidence of earth protecting us from invasion from beings from outer space. Not meteorites at all but the remains of those who would do us harm. I guess that's what comes after watch a movie like "Skyline" and then seeing things fall from the sky.
Stage four: Near Death Experiences
By now the landscape is changing and snow is in evidence all around me. Creatures come out to get away from the snow on the cleared road and 3 rabbits one hawk and a deer all come close to death as my car careens towards them in the night. The snow is patch and at one juncture all the elements of driving come together to give me the most exciting and scary moment of my driving career.
It must be noted that I am a horrible driver. I don't have any major accidents or driving offenses but unlike the rest of the population who figure themselves studs I know that I scare the Bejesus out of any of my passengers and that I'm generally safer on my bicycle than in my car.
Back to my story however there came a patch in the road where the traction changed from good to slick precisely at a turn. A patch of snow the right angle made even going 20 below the posted limit tricky. I managed to do what most teenagers try to pull off in snowy parking lots on the highway I made a doughnut.
When I first felt my car go it turned the opposite direction of the way I tried to steer it. Next to me was a guardrail and my only chance of making it without major damage meant I had to go with the car and not fight it. So within one lane I abruptly turned to the right and watched as my car drifted to a point where the front bumper scraped the guard rail and I went in a complete 360 turn.
There seemed to be no major damage to the vehicle and at that point the car registered a temperature of -14 degrees Fahrenheit. I wasn't leaving my car to inspect the damage. The cold was too much. Lucky for me I had made it to a point where there were no other vehicles nearby for me to crash into. So I continued on my merry way, thinking to myself:
"I am so cool under pressure I didn't even freak out."
Stage Five: Elko
I get to Elko Nevada where the lights treat me to green the whole way home and the streets are clear and rubble free. No traffic to speak of and I arrive safe and sound in the driveway. I get out of my car and see to my dismay that the bumper has some damage to it that has been packed with snow. It is a mark of shame. Nothing major but when you drive around it's hard to show off your car when there's a crack in the front...
Now that I have claimed this story as my own I can enjoy a thanksgiving meal without feeling like I need to tell everyone about my crazy night. Have a good thanksgiving everyone.
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