So I've been in Korea for just about a week and a half now and I'm waiting on a few things to go through here so that I can have an Alien Registration Card. This important little piece of plastic has the ablility to make my life a whole lot easier but I'm not sure what exactly it is I'm waiting for to complete the paperwork.
Until then I have no internet access of my own (I'm using the school's right now), no cell phone/home phone, and no bank account for the school to pay me at. As you can imagine this makes some parts of the process of being here frustrating.
And sometime soon I'm supposed to get a washing machine in my apartment. However there isn't a laundromat in the mean time to make my clothes clean so I'll just have to hope that nobody notices when I'm being a little bit dirty.
That isn't to say that everything is bad but one does need to get the complaining out of the way to get to the good stuff.
First my classes which start next week will have no more than 15 students and I believe the average will be about 8 which means I should be able to handle them pretty well.
Next I'm in a city where there are many different food options and I'm starting to believe that I could go the rest of my stay here without ever having the same meal twice if I didn't want to. Their is always korean food, a pretty good Vietnamese restuarant and if I'm in a hurry to wake up at least three coffee shops on the two block walk to work including a Dunkin Donuts.
Their are lots of bars around as well and I've gone to a few and haven't had the same drink twice yet either. One of the bars is a self serve bar and all you have to do is take your empty bottles to the cashier when you leave to pay for them. In the mean time I'm starting to be able to read Korean, however many of the signs have an
English cheat sheet so my practice keeps getting messed up since I always look at that before I've puzzled out the place names.
I start work next week and I'm replacing an Englishman named Kevin whose family is Korean. So he was fluent in both languages before coming here. In the mean time I'm trying to figure out a way to learn the language, either via class or maybe a english speaking barista, I think that will be the hardest part of this year.
I'm still not quite sure on my address in this place but I'll get it soon.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Korea, an update on my life in the last 8 months
So I've made it to Seoul South Korea, and I'm feeling pretty good. Which is definitely a change from yesterday. Yesterday I was sitting on a plane for 14 hours next to an elderly Korean man watching movies. Despite being surprised that the movie Arthur was an excellent movie, i was kinda sad. Today however I was spending time with recently graduated women who like to travel. My mood improved. Though it might have been the Cat Cafe, where you could pet a cat or the one random pig that the cafe had. And the coffee was great.
Anyhow I'll be in training for the next week learning how to make children love me, and then I'll use that love against them to make them learn English, and be productive citizens. Since we all know that nobody wants to do those things on their own anyway.
Anyway back to the last 8 months,
I spent a lot of time learning to be a better gamer. Specifically in StarCraft II where I learned to play an alien race and destroy humans. It seems when you are waiting for things to arrive, like background checks, passports and other paperwork.
Other things that occured in the last 8 months
I learned that the proper name for mushroom soup is Methodist Binder.
Sudoku in the paper can keep you stuck on the funny pages longer than is proper for an adult male.
I learned how to make a dog love you or hate you in 15 minutes or less.
I can now make pie crusts, apparently the key is lard.
I've picked blueberries for the first time. and even though a gallon seems like a lot of blueberries when the gallon is made into pies that don't go to you the blue berries seem to go a lot quicker.
I've visited Florida for the second time and while there learned I'm a lot more claustrophobic than I thought I was. Did you know that outside of Nevada things grow everywhere? They just don't seem to respect personal space. The trees made me feel like I was trapped in a box.
I saw the St Louis Arch. That is the type of public art I like, unlike the Omaha death trap statues.
Drove a boat for the first time. I'd driven a ship before but the ship wasn't half as fun as scaring the daylights out of my cousin and aunt while driving the boat. That was the last time that ever happened so I believe I must have perfected the art and that feeling that no one could ever top that feat the boat had to be retired.
I became slightly more tolerant of country music. Steel guitars no longer set my teeth on edge.
Also St Patricks day and stairs will forever be linked in my mind. (and that's all I have to say about that.)
On a related note Alcoholic pies exist, and the world is a better place for them.
Well now I think I've covered the highlights of my year so far and I'll try and post a little more often so that all may find out the meaning of life as told by Michael Mills.
Anyhow I'll be in training for the next week learning how to make children love me, and then I'll use that love against them to make them learn English, and be productive citizens. Since we all know that nobody wants to do those things on their own anyway.
Anyway back to the last 8 months,
I spent a lot of time learning to be a better gamer. Specifically in StarCraft II where I learned to play an alien race and destroy humans. It seems when you are waiting for things to arrive, like background checks, passports and other paperwork.
Other things that occured in the last 8 months
I learned that the proper name for mushroom soup is Methodist Binder.
Sudoku in the paper can keep you stuck on the funny pages longer than is proper for an adult male.
I learned how to make a dog love you or hate you in 15 minutes or less.
I can now make pie crusts, apparently the key is lard.
I've picked blueberries for the first time. and even though a gallon seems like a lot of blueberries when the gallon is made into pies that don't go to you the blue berries seem to go a lot quicker.
I've visited Florida for the second time and while there learned I'm a lot more claustrophobic than I thought I was. Did you know that outside of Nevada things grow everywhere? They just don't seem to respect personal space. The trees made me feel like I was trapped in a box.
I saw the St Louis Arch. That is the type of public art I like, unlike the Omaha death trap statues.
Drove a boat for the first time. I'd driven a ship before but the ship wasn't half as fun as scaring the daylights out of my cousin and aunt while driving the boat. That was the last time that ever happened so I believe I must have perfected the art and that feeling that no one could ever top that feat the boat had to be retired.
I became slightly more tolerant of country music. Steel guitars no longer set my teeth on edge.
Also St Patricks day and stairs will forever be linked in my mind. (and that's all I have to say about that.)
On a related note Alcoholic pies exist, and the world is a better place for them.
Well now I think I've covered the highlights of my year so far and I'll try and post a little more often so that all may find out the meaning of life as told by Michael Mills.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
When searching for a job and you need to vent.
So I applied to a job from the craigslist board.
I'm tired of applying online and never seeing anything back
I figure this will be more of the same so here's 3 hours of work for one job application
-------------
------------------
The Email:
This Application is worth your time,
Dynamic, fast growing, fun loving cloud computing Help Desk Man. This Desktop Support Technician has a balance of knowledge, ingenuity and the ability to solve problems effectively and efficiently. Researching, troubleshooting and humor are key tools I've gotten from life. I have, the skills to successfully and effectively interact with internal and external clients and IT personnel Yes, it’s a lot of buzzword bingo but, I thought I should add it.
You can contact me at (775) 397-3305.
There is no reason not to.
Call now.
-Michael Mills
---------------
Cover Page One
(There is an image here in case facebook doesn't show this in it's notes section)
---------------
Cover page two
Hello small laid back company representative,
Do you see that handsome guy on cover page one?
The one with the Sunglasses?
That guy just spent two hours on a mac going from a photo to illustrator and back again to make sure you'll know how good a candidate you'll be getting if you decide to hire him.
I'll skip past the buzzword bingo since you were told to add it. I'm sure that you'll appreciate some problems solving.
Now looking at your description:
Talented tier 1 help desk. I've got talent I can dress up in a suit and tie my own tie, and you'll have a first class professional in minutes.
You want someone who'll make your customers feel like the greatest people on earth. If they're helped buy a guy in sunglasses they'll know they're cool since only cool people get talked to by the sunglasses crowd.
Solving the issue, will always depend on the issue. I can't help with relationship problems those are personal, but if you're internet is down, printer prints in greek, your computer makes a grinding noise or for some reason you just can't install that program then I'm your man.
Filling out tickets is easy no problem.
Fitting 5 hats on my head is a rather hard requirement and previously I've only gotten up to 2. This particular 2 however were:
1. A Jester's motley hat which ought to count as 3 with all the bells and points
2. A Zebra striped safari hat that counts as 2 as c'mon zebra stripes, and safari it's just too cool for school. The principal wouldn't even let me wear it there, it might just explode the brains of the other students when they tried to fit it in with all the rest that they were learning.
Juggling two support calls is only an issue if the support calls are on fire. I can juggle.
The standard number of beansacks that I'll juggle is three but calls are much easier as they require less dexterity and more talking. I also am wary about juggling sharp things I like my hands too much to juggle those.
As for the experience you offer and duties afterward those are standard job fair. Interview me and we'll be able to see how much I meet your needs.
- Michael Mills
--------------
Followed by salary requirements and my resume.
It probably won't lead to much but ah does that feel good.
I'm tired of applying online and never seeing anything back
I figure this will be more of the same so here's 3 hours of work for one job application
-------------
------------------
The Email:
This Application is worth your time,
Dynamic, fast growing, fun loving cloud computing Help Desk Man. This Desktop Support Technician has a balance of knowledge, ingenuity and the ability to solve problems effectively and efficiently. Researching, troubleshooting and humor are key tools I've gotten from life. I have, the skills to successfully and effectively interact with internal and external clients and IT personnel Yes, it’s a lot of buzzword bingo but, I thought I should add it.
You can contact me at (775) 397-3305.
There is no reason not to.
Call now.
-Michael Mills
---------------
Cover Page One
(There is an image here in case facebook doesn't show this in it's notes section)
---------------
Cover page two
Hello small laid back company representative,
Do you see that handsome guy on cover page one?
The one with the Sunglasses?
That guy just spent two hours on a mac going from a photo to illustrator and back again to make sure you'll know how good a candidate you'll be getting if you decide to hire him.
I'll skip past the buzzword bingo since you were told to add it. I'm sure that you'll appreciate some problems solving.
Now looking at your description:
Talented tier 1 help desk. I've got talent I can dress up in a suit and tie my own tie, and you'll have a first class professional in minutes.
You want someone who'll make your customers feel like the greatest people on earth. If they're helped buy a guy in sunglasses they'll know they're cool since only cool people get talked to by the sunglasses crowd.
Solving the issue, will always depend on the issue. I can't help with relationship problems those are personal, but if you're internet is down, printer prints in greek, your computer makes a grinding noise or for some reason you just can't install that program then I'm your man.
Filling out tickets is easy no problem.
Fitting 5 hats on my head is a rather hard requirement and previously I've only gotten up to 2. This particular 2 however were:
1. A Jester's motley hat which ought to count as 3 with all the bells and points
2. A Zebra striped safari hat that counts as 2 as c'mon zebra stripes, and safari it's just too cool for school. The principal wouldn't even let me wear it there, it might just explode the brains of the other students when they tried to fit it in with all the rest that they were learning.
Juggling two support calls is only an issue if the support calls are on fire. I can juggle.
The standard number of beansacks that I'll juggle is three but calls are much easier as they require less dexterity and more talking. I also am wary about juggling sharp things I like my hands too much to juggle those.
As for the experience you offer and duties afterward those are standard job fair. Interview me and we'll be able to see how much I meet your needs.
- Michael Mills
--------------
Followed by salary requirements and my resume.
It probably won't lead to much but ah does that feel good.
Monday, May 2, 2011
A Deeper Understanding (How I think; very Self-centered)
I live a whole life as the day progresses. If you start me out in the morning all I really want to do is sit and watch cartoons. Around noon or so I'm ready to find something to work on but not very much of it, late afternoon comes and set me to a task and I'll do it while learning. I'll listen to a lecture by Richard Feynman, on physics while trying to solve the most pressing problem of the moment, be it world peace or laundry. Recently this has been job hunting. But I digress
After Dinner I'll become a cynic as the troubles of the world seem like too much to ever take on. Why would anyone try so hard when things get messed up. And sometime after 8 or 9 I'll think things aren't so bad after all and read something that lets me live the life of some hero or heroine for a while, and I start thinking of new things to amuse me.
Meanwhile I've been getting a sinking feeling lately that there is no way to really understand the world with any kind of meaning without understanding math. Problems of scale, how much something is worth and many other things seem to need a number assigned to them, and that number needs to be able to be explained.
I'm not opposed to math so much as I'm opposed to the work that it takes to know it intuitively. When I know something I want to be able to say quickly that a thing is follows or is evident and math doesn't allow me to do that easily. Mostly because I hate learning by route and most math is made simple by route learning and understanding later what it is that you're actually doing.
Which strikes me as the wrong way to do things. As a competitive person I like to understand the basic idea and work towards a better way of doing it. That is how it works for me.
I apply this to the games I play, I played chess for years until the yahoo program I used refuse to let me capture pieces on a certain square and made me lose games. I hated that.
I played Resident Evil 5 and loved that game, not for the story but for the competitive play. I got to be in the top 600 scores of hundreds of thousands of players. The ratings of fail C, B, A, S, and the elite SS appealed to my sense of progress and allowed me to compete with myself as well as others all by giving me numbers to shoot for via the process of trial and error.
Now I play StarCraft II and again there is a ranking system and ways to measure how you do. All of which lead me back to numbers and math. If you want to understand something math gives you a method of making sure that the logic works given your assumptions. Science lets you test it, to make sure the assumptions are right but math lets you know whether you're essentially correct. Neither explains the why of things. Just ask someone why there are elementary particles in the number that there are and they can't do it, but from playing games I rarely care about the why's and more about the hows anyway.
In any case learning when you are wrong about things is hard to take, because being wrong feels exactly like being right until the truth is told. And math seems like the way that I'll be learning I'm wrong more and more, but to stay competitive I'll have to deal with it.
After Dinner I'll become a cynic as the troubles of the world seem like too much to ever take on. Why would anyone try so hard when things get messed up. And sometime after 8 or 9 I'll think things aren't so bad after all and read something that lets me live the life of some hero or heroine for a while, and I start thinking of new things to amuse me.
Meanwhile I've been getting a sinking feeling lately that there is no way to really understand the world with any kind of meaning without understanding math. Problems of scale, how much something is worth and many other things seem to need a number assigned to them, and that number needs to be able to be explained.
I'm not opposed to math so much as I'm opposed to the work that it takes to know it intuitively. When I know something I want to be able to say quickly that a thing is follows or is evident and math doesn't allow me to do that easily. Mostly because I hate learning by route and most math is made simple by route learning and understanding later what it is that you're actually doing.
Which strikes me as the wrong way to do things. As a competitive person I like to understand the basic idea and work towards a better way of doing it. That is how it works for me.
I apply this to the games I play, I played chess for years until the yahoo program I used refuse to let me capture pieces on a certain square and made me lose games. I hated that.
I played Resident Evil 5 and loved that game, not for the story but for the competitive play. I got to be in the top 600 scores of hundreds of thousands of players. The ratings of fail C, B, A, S, and the elite SS appealed to my sense of progress and allowed me to compete with myself as well as others all by giving me numbers to shoot for via the process of trial and error.
Now I play StarCraft II and again there is a ranking system and ways to measure how you do. All of which lead me back to numbers and math. If you want to understand something math gives you a method of making sure that the logic works given your assumptions. Science lets you test it, to make sure the assumptions are right but math lets you know whether you're essentially correct. Neither explains the why of things. Just ask someone why there are elementary particles in the number that there are and they can't do it, but from playing games I rarely care about the why's and more about the hows anyway.
In any case learning when you are wrong about things is hard to take, because being wrong feels exactly like being right until the truth is told. And math seems like the way that I'll be learning I'm wrong more and more, but to stay competitive I'll have to deal with it.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
You're gonna have to pay for it.
A conversation I had with my aunt focusing around money and how the government uses it came up with the following lines:
Me: For a while this country managed to make everything cheap, toys, travel, and food.
Her: It time to have to pay for it and your generation will have to pay for it.
Now normally I try to avoid issues of "Fair" because I agree with Scar from the Lion King as he talks to a helpless mouse.
"Life's not fair is it? You see I will never get to be king, and you, you will never get to see the light of another day."
Now the fact that I've memorized most of the Lion king isn't the point here. But people thinking that I'll pay for their mistakes. That will not do. I've got enough of my own mistakes to pay for before I have to start paying for the mistakes of another. Not that it doesn't happen already. I can't help that I live everyday depending on the work of others right or wrong that they are. But if I'm to pay for a mistake that you made you'd better bet that you'll be right there in the mud with me.
On a similar note, I've always wanted to have a transformative experience. One that made me into an entirely different person than I am. Or rather an experience that made my virtues shine more and my failings less apparent. It seems like a movie trope that someone could see the light of reason and change immediately.
Mostly I say this because it seems obvious to me sometimes on how to solve other people's problems and not so obvious to them on how to solve mine. Of course my solutions to other peoples problems involve them doing something that they have a hard time trying to stomach. So they don't do it and seem to get along just fine having completely ignored me. Which means I probably didn't have the answer after all.
Anyway I don't want you to get the idea that I'm against paying for others. People have paid for me in the past and continue to do so. But I want to pay for improvements, not for detriments.
Me: For a while this country managed to make everything cheap, toys, travel, and food.
Her: It time to have to pay for it and your generation will have to pay for it.
Now normally I try to avoid issues of "Fair" because I agree with Scar from the Lion King as he talks to a helpless mouse.
"Life's not fair is it? You see I will never get to be king, and you, you will never get to see the light of another day."
Now the fact that I've memorized most of the Lion king isn't the point here. But people thinking that I'll pay for their mistakes. That will not do. I've got enough of my own mistakes to pay for before I have to start paying for the mistakes of another. Not that it doesn't happen already. I can't help that I live everyday depending on the work of others right or wrong that they are. But if I'm to pay for a mistake that you made you'd better bet that you'll be right there in the mud with me.
On a similar note, I've always wanted to have a transformative experience. One that made me into an entirely different person than I am. Or rather an experience that made my virtues shine more and my failings less apparent. It seems like a movie trope that someone could see the light of reason and change immediately.
Mostly I say this because it seems obvious to me sometimes on how to solve other people's problems and not so obvious to them on how to solve mine. Of course my solutions to other peoples problems involve them doing something that they have a hard time trying to stomach. So they don't do it and seem to get along just fine having completely ignored me. Which means I probably didn't have the answer after all.
Anyway I don't want you to get the idea that I'm against paying for others. People have paid for me in the past and continue to do so. But I want to pay for improvements, not for detriments.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
An update for all my fans... (uh anyone there?)
So I graduated December and moved everything into storage; storage being mostly my parents basement and what room I could find in the trunk of my car. I think I've reached a Zen state of mind, emptying myself of all I don't need. Well mostly anyway.
I enjoyed Christmas and New Years in Elko Nevada, after which I set off across the country in search of what, I'm not exactly sure yet. Certainly part of the search is a job, but there is more to it than just trying to find a place to work.
I traveled first to Denver to see my uncle Tim and make sure that he is alive and able to put people up for the night. Lucky for me both counts were affirmative.
Next I went to my brother's place. There I dropped off our TV that was a mutual gift for our birthdays from about 3 years ago. He showed me his job and his basement, it seems that graduating gets you all the perks.
Next I traveled to Florida. Again the overarching theme was find a job but this time I spent with my friend from the Navy. He's currently going to school and I learned a valuable lesson there. Sometimes the ground is a much better place to sleep than an air mattress. Mine kept deflating so I got used to not inflating it so that I'd get to sleep without waking up to the coldness of the floor reminding me that bedding should never deflate.
After staying for a few weeks, my friend left for a deployment as he's still in the reserves. Kinda like the Elton John song says, "Still in the Navy and probably will be for life." So I moved on to my aunt's home where the beds are a lot more comfortable.
I've had little luck with the job hunt so far but then I'm still not used to Georgia or Florida and all the rest. I'm going to see more family this weekend and I'm pretty sure that they'll be glad to see me and let me know how their lives are going. In the meantime I'll try and stay busy, and out of people's hair.
By the way if you know anyone in Georgia that needs a logo or business card put me in touch with them. I ought to be able to help them out.
I enjoyed Christmas and New Years in Elko Nevada, after which I set off across the country in search of what, I'm not exactly sure yet. Certainly part of the search is a job, but there is more to it than just trying to find a place to work.
I traveled first to Denver to see my uncle Tim and make sure that he is alive and able to put people up for the night. Lucky for me both counts were affirmative.
Next I went to my brother's place. There I dropped off our TV that was a mutual gift for our birthdays from about 3 years ago. He showed me his job and his basement, it seems that graduating gets you all the perks.
Next I traveled to Florida. Again the overarching theme was find a job but this time I spent with my friend from the Navy. He's currently going to school and I learned a valuable lesson there. Sometimes the ground is a much better place to sleep than an air mattress. Mine kept deflating so I got used to not inflating it so that I'd get to sleep without waking up to the coldness of the floor reminding me that bedding should never deflate.
After staying for a few weeks, my friend left for a deployment as he's still in the reserves. Kinda like the Elton John song says, "Still in the Navy and probably will be for life." So I moved on to my aunt's home where the beds are a lot more comfortable.
I've had little luck with the job hunt so far but then I'm still not used to Georgia or Florida and all the rest. I'm going to see more family this weekend and I'm pretty sure that they'll be glad to see me and let me know how their lives are going. In the meantime I'll try and stay busy, and out of people's hair.
By the way if you know anyone in Georgia that needs a logo or business card put me in touch with them. I ought to be able to help them out.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Goodbye Las Vegas
It's been a good 3 years now and I've grown accustomed to your ways Las Vegas. I know when you're awake and when you're asleep and what you like on your pizza. But our time together has come to an end. Graduating it seems has put a distance between you and me. You like it when you can take advantage of people using your wit and guile, and I just might be the same.
So we used each other. I tried to learn what you know and you gladly took my money for it. I'm going to miss you a bit but only about as much as you'll miss me. There's a bit of you that's run down trying to always provide for the rest of the country. You have to be up to some of the best and worst expectations that people have and that makes for tough times when everyone feels like being down.
But you're not a city who likes those of us who have a degree perhaps you think we're too stuck up. Or maybe it's just me. I'm guessing it's time to move on. I'm trying to go out and see what sights there are to see and to try a new thing or two or three. I'm ready to find other people like me who don't think that singing a song can only be done for $50 plus fees at a show that's almost sure to be done every night of the week.
It's not you. It's me.
So we used each other. I tried to learn what you know and you gladly took my money for it. I'm going to miss you a bit but only about as much as you'll miss me. There's a bit of you that's run down trying to always provide for the rest of the country. You have to be up to some of the best and worst expectations that people have and that makes for tough times when everyone feels like being down.
But you're not a city who likes those of us who have a degree perhaps you think we're too stuck up. Or maybe it's just me. I'm guessing it's time to move on. I'm trying to go out and see what sights there are to see and to try a new thing or two or three. I'm ready to find other people like me who don't think that singing a song can only be done for $50 plus fees at a show that's almost sure to be done every night of the week.
It's not you. It's me.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
My email to Harry Reid on Nasa.
I'm a supporter of America as a leader in the areas of science and technology, but it seems that Nasa doesn't have the support it needs to maintain a presence in the world of tomorrow. I ask you to get an ambitious project from Nasa, say going to mars or Venus and lets make it happen.
We need inspirational topics right now and Health care isn't inspiring, nor is defense spending. What ought to matter is the spirit of the American People and how we are world leaders. So I ask that you help us to lead where we need it most in the symbol of greatness that we can lead most the exploration of the Universe.
Ask for an ambitious project get some of our leading minds to explore and then lets make it happen. It'll take minds off of the recession and put them where we need to be. In the future. Thanks much;
Michael Mills
We need inspirational topics right now and Health care isn't inspiring, nor is defense spending. What ought to matter is the spirit of the American People and how we are world leaders. So I ask that you help us to lead where we need it most in the symbol of greatness that we can lead most the exploration of the Universe.
Ask for an ambitious project get some of our leading minds to explore and then lets make it happen. It'll take minds off of the recession and put them where we need to be. In the future. Thanks much;
Michael Mills
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Tasting the End
It came at the end of another class, I got a taste of how life seems to enfold for me. It's been a long time of continuing to plug away at whatever I'm currently doing. A final rush as I tried to make sure everything worked out well. Move a line a little to the left to make the work look good. Cut a little paper, glue a little bit together, and set thing out to be seen.
Then look at all the work that others have done. See just something I like and other things I'd like to tweak just a tad if only they were mine, and still others that make me gag. We discuss things as a class and then turn it all in to be graded. But this wasn't the important part of the day. It was the prelude to the best part of the day.
More than a little tired a friend of mine sits in a chair her head resting on her arm just glad to be done with it all and we talk about this and that while we watch as everyone unwinds from the work we've accomplished. I remember how much that everything I've done in this class even though it might rightfully be called mine is a product of everyone around me.
And then she takes a moment and asks if I want to go and grab a bite to eat, she knows that I'm graduating and this will be the last time we see each other for perhaps a long time. It's not like this will be the last that we'll know of each other in this internet connected age, but here's the signal that it's time to move on and we decide that we want to let the moment to linger on just as much as we can. We stay in the classroom that previously we couldn't wait to get out of, and then complete a few mundane tasks about campus, (she's still got some schooling to do) registration and the like then off to a small resturant.
I try a Hawaiian dish that I've not had before, It's ok and Christmas songs play in the background:
"You better be good for goodness sake"
We talk about the future. When nobody knows the future and there isn't a good guide in the present people get a little anxious. But life is resilient and its not the first time that this has happened for any of us. We make a plan and hope that circumstances will conspire to work with us and make us sucessful. But eventually the meal ends and it's time to say goodbye. I walk back to the parking garage with her, It seems the right thing to do even though I've passed my bike a ways back, a quick hug and then goodbye.
And that's all.
Nothing life shaking no worries.
Sometimes a moment just needs to be crystallized and this is my way of doing that.
Then look at all the work that others have done. See just something I like and other things I'd like to tweak just a tad if only they were mine, and still others that make me gag. We discuss things as a class and then turn it all in to be graded. But this wasn't the important part of the day. It was the prelude to the best part of the day.
More than a little tired a friend of mine sits in a chair her head resting on her arm just glad to be done with it all and we talk about this and that while we watch as everyone unwinds from the work we've accomplished. I remember how much that everything I've done in this class even though it might rightfully be called mine is a product of everyone around me.
And then she takes a moment and asks if I want to go and grab a bite to eat, she knows that I'm graduating and this will be the last time we see each other for perhaps a long time. It's not like this will be the last that we'll know of each other in this internet connected age, but here's the signal that it's time to move on and we decide that we want to let the moment to linger on just as much as we can. We stay in the classroom that previously we couldn't wait to get out of, and then complete a few mundane tasks about campus, (she's still got some schooling to do) registration and the like then off to a small resturant.
I try a Hawaiian dish that I've not had before, It's ok and Christmas songs play in the background:
"You better be good for goodness sake"
We talk about the future. When nobody knows the future and there isn't a good guide in the present people get a little anxious. But life is resilient and its not the first time that this has happened for any of us. We make a plan and hope that circumstances will conspire to work with us and make us sucessful. But eventually the meal ends and it's time to say goodbye. I walk back to the parking garage with her, It seems the right thing to do even though I've passed my bike a ways back, a quick hug and then goodbye.
And that's all.
Nothing life shaking no worries.
Sometimes a moment just needs to be crystallized and this is my way of doing that.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Choice and the power of rant to calm the soul
It true that we in America love the idea of freedom. It's everything that we claim to want and stand for. I don't expect that to change anytime soon. I'm sorry to say however that we think that we need to protect ourselves from ourselves and our freedoms. The following rant comes because I'm trying channel some constructive energy into writing even though it isn't the 10 page paper I should be working on.
I'm a little jazzed after watching "Thank you for Smoking" and having a energy drink. It might have been a beer earlier but I'm guilty of misplacing my Driver's license. I'm pretty sure it's in my car in Elko only 7 hrs away from here. Anyway I was looking to dull the pain of this paper I have to write. because as you may not know I have problems when I'm made to do "busy" work. And all this paper is for is so that my gallery practices class can have something worth grading, because like real life there isn't much to grade about it. The work is either done or not done and all of it is subject to the whims of the viewers.
Anyhow I'm hating the paper and trying to get past the headache it gives me contemplating it. When I come across the not so bright idea of getting a drink and writing while my sense of self-righteousness is dull. But as I said there is a problem of no drivers licence.
So I think I've got a wallet full of things with my name on them and birthdate that ought to be enough. And I head to the grocery store in hopes of finding something that tastes better than swill to help the experience become enjoyable.
Apon arrival I'm immediately greeted by a man who tells me a sob story of how he's unable to get a perscription card and how he tried to kill himself. And could I give him 60-70 dollars or take him home for the night. Then he tells me he's a christian and that his christmas wish is for some money for an ID which just rubs me wrong since I'm without an ID myself and I'm doing ok. Besides ID's don't cost 60-70 dollars, at least I don't think they do... Anyhow the only thing he tells me in his abundance of lies that I like hearing is that I remind him of John Lennon. However Lennon was dead 4 years before I was born and maybe he needs to update his references a bit. I gave him 5 dollars to shut him up. Maybe that's the best money I have ever spent.
I then found the object of my designs and proceeded to try and use the checkout and presented my various methods of reasoning towards the cashier that I ought to be allowed to buy my desired beverage.
1. I'm 26 years old and I definately don't look like a 20 year old trying to illegally purchase something
2. Photo ID in the form of a student id card, along with credit cards, debit cards, health insurance cards, and a card showing membership in the Lower Brule Sioux Tribe.
3. It's the press of a button that requires no pain on his part.
However these methods failed to get me anything as the cashier said no and then suggested that I bring a birth certificate with me for this transaction. As I said before I know I'm in the wrong, however it wasn't any of that that swayed him it was that as he said
"There are no jobs" and "It only takes a small infraction before I'm out of mine."
His job sucks. He has to deal with people who can't run a self checkout stand. He has to restock items and it's minimum wage. And he's rightfully afraid that there aren't any jobs in Las Vegas.
But still the fact that it's a crime to sell me something that I should be allowed to purchase at any age, let alone 5 years after the official legal age without some sort of proof of who I am in the form of a plastic card irks me. That there are people who have nothing better to do than try and bust a guy for trying to make a profit irks me. That after all this time we know that smoking kills people and that we still get mad at the tobacco companies for lying to people about the dangers of tobacco, when for my entire life nobody has ever said it's good for you irks me.
Stop protecting people from themselves and allow them to act like adults. We make choices and live with the consequences. I didn't go into computer science and went into art when I know that I'll probably make less money at that. Give people information and then let them decide. But stop acting like everyone needs protection all the time.
I believe in freedom, and I want it even if it means I am wrong. It's the only way that freedom is meaningful.
I'm a little jazzed after watching "Thank you for Smoking" and having a energy drink. It might have been a beer earlier but I'm guilty of misplacing my Driver's license. I'm pretty sure it's in my car in Elko only 7 hrs away from here. Anyway I was looking to dull the pain of this paper I have to write. because as you may not know I have problems when I'm made to do "busy" work. And all this paper is for is so that my gallery practices class can have something worth grading, because like real life there isn't much to grade about it. The work is either done or not done and all of it is subject to the whims of the viewers.
Anyhow I'm hating the paper and trying to get past the headache it gives me contemplating it. When I come across the not so bright idea of getting a drink and writing while my sense of self-righteousness is dull. But as I said there is a problem of no drivers licence.
So I think I've got a wallet full of things with my name on them and birthdate that ought to be enough. And I head to the grocery store in hopes of finding something that tastes better than swill to help the experience become enjoyable.
Apon arrival I'm immediately greeted by a man who tells me a sob story of how he's unable to get a perscription card and how he tried to kill himself. And could I give him 60-70 dollars or take him home for the night. Then he tells me he's a christian and that his christmas wish is for some money for an ID which just rubs me wrong since I'm without an ID myself and I'm doing ok. Besides ID's don't cost 60-70 dollars, at least I don't think they do... Anyhow the only thing he tells me in his abundance of lies that I like hearing is that I remind him of John Lennon. However Lennon was dead 4 years before I was born and maybe he needs to update his references a bit. I gave him 5 dollars to shut him up. Maybe that's the best money I have ever spent.
I then found the object of my designs and proceeded to try and use the checkout and presented my various methods of reasoning towards the cashier that I ought to be allowed to buy my desired beverage.
1. I'm 26 years old and I definately don't look like a 20 year old trying to illegally purchase something
2. Photo ID in the form of a student id card, along with credit cards, debit cards, health insurance cards, and a card showing membership in the Lower Brule Sioux Tribe.
3. It's the press of a button that requires no pain on his part.
However these methods failed to get me anything as the cashier said no and then suggested that I bring a birth certificate with me for this transaction. As I said before I know I'm in the wrong, however it wasn't any of that that swayed him it was that as he said
"There are no jobs" and "It only takes a small infraction before I'm out of mine."
His job sucks. He has to deal with people who can't run a self checkout stand. He has to restock items and it's minimum wage. And he's rightfully afraid that there aren't any jobs in Las Vegas.
But still the fact that it's a crime to sell me something that I should be allowed to purchase at any age, let alone 5 years after the official legal age without some sort of proof of who I am in the form of a plastic card irks me. That there are people who have nothing better to do than try and bust a guy for trying to make a profit irks me. That after all this time we know that smoking kills people and that we still get mad at the tobacco companies for lying to people about the dangers of tobacco, when for my entire life nobody has ever said it's good for you irks me.
Stop protecting people from themselves and allow them to act like adults. We make choices and live with the consequences. I didn't go into computer science and went into art when I know that I'll probably make less money at that. Give people information and then let them decide. But stop acting like everyone needs protection all the time.
I believe in freedom, and I want it even if it means I am wrong. It's the only way that freedom is meaningful.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A Desent into Madness (driving home for thanksgiving)
If you have ever travel long distances by yourself in a car you know that there's a bit of insanity involved in the whole process. The road tries to sway you to sleep while you're traveling 70 miles an hour vs people who are doing the same opposite to you.
I thought I'd let you in on a bit of my trip.
Stage One: Exiting Las Vegas.
At this stage of my trip extreme paranoia sets in. I went down a major 3 lane road, that had been reduced to one lane only and hit every red light. People in giant moving boxes tried to squeeze in front of me defying all laws of physics and Every radio station played only ads. I was conserving the batteries on my laptop for the rest of the trip but Vegas was looking to punish me for daring to leave its' bright lights behind.
Stage Two: The Desert Madness.
When the radio finally runs out of country stations I decide to switch to my laptop for music. It seems that country music is aptly named as I don't hear much of it in the cities but outside of the cities the stations persist much more than any other. But even country music stations must give way to the wasteland that lies between me and my destination.
At some point I realize that my computer is set up so that I hear songs that move my emotions in all directions. I sing along to songs about happiness, sadness, anger, love, loss and Even a few nonsense songs. I've become the greatest lead singer in all the world complete with backup singers. Never mind if I miss a lyric here or there, the car is the number one place to be if you gotta sing.
Stage Three: Madness
The sky darkens as night start to fall arround me and I've used all my emotions up for now. The tendrils of darkness that start to creep around make for a crazy visual and I imagine myself being chased by the shadows. There is only one hope my headlights must drive back that which is trying to get me. Unfortunately the lights of the traffic in the opposite direction make it so I can't in good conscious use my brights. Apparently Vegas is the place to be for giving thanks this year.
I start to feel in a trance and I get some great ideas for stories, like what if the falling stars in the sky are the evidence of earth protecting us from invasion from beings from outer space. Not meteorites at all but the remains of those who would do us harm. I guess that's what comes after watch a movie like "Skyline" and then seeing things fall from the sky.
Stage four: Near Death Experiences
By now the landscape is changing and snow is in evidence all around me. Creatures come out to get away from the snow on the cleared road and 3 rabbits one hawk and a deer all come close to death as my car careens towards them in the night. The snow is patch and at one juncture all the elements of driving come together to give me the most exciting and scary moment of my driving career.
It must be noted that I am a horrible driver. I don't have any major accidents or driving offenses but unlike the rest of the population who figure themselves studs I know that I scare the Bejesus out of any of my passengers and that I'm generally safer on my bicycle than in my car.
Back to my story however there came a patch in the road where the traction changed from good to slick precisely at a turn. A patch of snow the right angle made even going 20 below the posted limit tricky. I managed to do what most teenagers try to pull off in snowy parking lots on the highway I made a doughnut.
When I first felt my car go it turned the opposite direction of the way I tried to steer it. Next to me was a guardrail and my only chance of making it without major damage meant I had to go with the car and not fight it. So within one lane I abruptly turned to the right and watched as my car drifted to a point where the front bumper scraped the guard rail and I went in a complete 360 turn.
There seemed to be no major damage to the vehicle and at that point the car registered a temperature of -14 degrees Fahrenheit. I wasn't leaving my car to inspect the damage. The cold was too much. Lucky for me I had made it to a point where there were no other vehicles nearby for me to crash into. So I continued on my merry way, thinking to myself:
"I am so cool under pressure I didn't even freak out."
Stage Five: Elko
I get to Elko Nevada where the lights treat me to green the whole way home and the streets are clear and rubble free. No traffic to speak of and I arrive safe and sound in the driveway. I get out of my car and see to my dismay that the bumper has some damage to it that has been packed with snow. It is a mark of shame. Nothing major but when you drive around it's hard to show off your car when there's a crack in the front...
Now that I have claimed this story as my own I can enjoy a thanksgiving meal without feeling like I need to tell everyone about my crazy night. Have a good thanksgiving everyone.
I thought I'd let you in on a bit of my trip.
Stage One: Exiting Las Vegas.
At this stage of my trip extreme paranoia sets in. I went down a major 3 lane road, that had been reduced to one lane only and hit every red light. People in giant moving boxes tried to squeeze in front of me defying all laws of physics and Every radio station played only ads. I was conserving the batteries on my laptop for the rest of the trip but Vegas was looking to punish me for daring to leave its' bright lights behind.
Stage Two: The Desert Madness.
When the radio finally runs out of country stations I decide to switch to my laptop for music. It seems that country music is aptly named as I don't hear much of it in the cities but outside of the cities the stations persist much more than any other. But even country music stations must give way to the wasteland that lies between me and my destination.
At some point I realize that my computer is set up so that I hear songs that move my emotions in all directions. I sing along to songs about happiness, sadness, anger, love, loss and Even a few nonsense songs. I've become the greatest lead singer in all the world complete with backup singers. Never mind if I miss a lyric here or there, the car is the number one place to be if you gotta sing.
Stage Three: Madness
The sky darkens as night start to fall arround me and I've used all my emotions up for now. The tendrils of darkness that start to creep around make for a crazy visual and I imagine myself being chased by the shadows. There is only one hope my headlights must drive back that which is trying to get me. Unfortunately the lights of the traffic in the opposite direction make it so I can't in good conscious use my brights. Apparently Vegas is the place to be for giving thanks this year.
I start to feel in a trance and I get some great ideas for stories, like what if the falling stars in the sky are the evidence of earth protecting us from invasion from beings from outer space. Not meteorites at all but the remains of those who would do us harm. I guess that's what comes after watch a movie like "Skyline" and then seeing things fall from the sky.
Stage four: Near Death Experiences
By now the landscape is changing and snow is in evidence all around me. Creatures come out to get away from the snow on the cleared road and 3 rabbits one hawk and a deer all come close to death as my car careens towards them in the night. The snow is patch and at one juncture all the elements of driving come together to give me the most exciting and scary moment of my driving career.
It must be noted that I am a horrible driver. I don't have any major accidents or driving offenses but unlike the rest of the population who figure themselves studs I know that I scare the Bejesus out of any of my passengers and that I'm generally safer on my bicycle than in my car.
Back to my story however there came a patch in the road where the traction changed from good to slick precisely at a turn. A patch of snow the right angle made even going 20 below the posted limit tricky. I managed to do what most teenagers try to pull off in snowy parking lots on the highway I made a doughnut.
When I first felt my car go it turned the opposite direction of the way I tried to steer it. Next to me was a guardrail and my only chance of making it without major damage meant I had to go with the car and not fight it. So within one lane I abruptly turned to the right and watched as my car drifted to a point where the front bumper scraped the guard rail and I went in a complete 360 turn.
There seemed to be no major damage to the vehicle and at that point the car registered a temperature of -14 degrees Fahrenheit. I wasn't leaving my car to inspect the damage. The cold was too much. Lucky for me I had made it to a point where there were no other vehicles nearby for me to crash into. So I continued on my merry way, thinking to myself:
"I am so cool under pressure I didn't even freak out."
Stage Five: Elko
I get to Elko Nevada where the lights treat me to green the whole way home and the streets are clear and rubble free. No traffic to speak of and I arrive safe and sound in the driveway. I get out of my car and see to my dismay that the bumper has some damage to it that has been packed with snow. It is a mark of shame. Nothing major but when you drive around it's hard to show off your car when there's a crack in the front...
Now that I have claimed this story as my own I can enjoy a thanksgiving meal without feeling like I need to tell everyone about my crazy night. Have a good thanksgiving everyone.
Monday, October 11, 2010
The scariest place on earth
Being October I thought I'd hit on the idea of fear. And if you know me then you know that I like to take care of things myself. It's partially not trusting people but partially cause I like to accomplish things and little tasks completed daily make me feel good since big tasks completed monthly annually or other such things take so long and feel so rare.
And then there times in life when you can do nothing about anything and you have to go somewhere else for help. You head to a doctor's office or hospital. These places always give me the creeps and I'll for one say I'm more afraid of a doctor with a stethoscope than a man with a gun.
Even though I know there's real science behind modern medical practices x-rays, chemotherapy, and the myriad of drugs and instruments these institutions seem to demand respect for the people in there just because they work with the stuff I don't have the time or money to study. Almost if they're hiding behind a wall of magic.
And meanwhile every time I see a doctor dentist or medical professional I spend money that I need to be using to be make rent. I can't afford insurance that would cover minor ailments so the places become areas of last resort and only for use of immediate life threatening conditions.
Besides which I always feel that I get blamed for having something bad happen to me anytime that I show up for some type of treatment. If I had only run more been less risky lived differently not crossed that particular street at that particular time I wouldn't be here. So not only am I hurt and looking at risking long term life for short term benefits I'm being blamed for it. Granted there are times when health problems have been my fault like ingrown toenails that have gotten out of hand but still...
And do they always have to be so uncomfortable places to go and wait?
And then there times in life when you can do nothing about anything and you have to go somewhere else for help. You head to a doctor's office or hospital. These places always give me the creeps and I'll for one say I'm more afraid of a doctor with a stethoscope than a man with a gun.
Even though I know there's real science behind modern medical practices x-rays, chemotherapy, and the myriad of drugs and instruments these institutions seem to demand respect for the people in there just because they work with the stuff I don't have the time or money to study. Almost if they're hiding behind a wall of magic.
And meanwhile every time I see a doctor dentist or medical professional I spend money that I need to be using to be make rent. I can't afford insurance that would cover minor ailments so the places become areas of last resort and only for use of immediate life threatening conditions.
Besides which I always feel that I get blamed for having something bad happen to me anytime that I show up for some type of treatment. If I had only run more been less risky lived differently not crossed that particular street at that particular time I wouldn't be here. So not only am I hurt and looking at risking long term life for short term benefits I'm being blamed for it. Granted there are times when health problems have been my fault like ingrown toenails that have gotten out of hand but still...
And do they always have to be so uncomfortable places to go and wait?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Changing Pastimes
I have a lot of free time on my hands and have had so for a long while. Our culture has a cure for free time not just one cure but many different cures. Music, television, books and my personal favorite video games to name a few. Recently I've been persuaded to get away from that particular medium.
It's really just because I want to do things that other people can appreciate. I've found that the best feeling that a I can get is positive feedback from other people.
Next to that is the feeling of creating something. It's gratifying to have an object that you have made, or participated the creation of. I've appreciated the work of many people when I've played video games but I'm finding that I just end up spending more time than I originally intended when I pick up the latest title.
So I'm trying to wean myself of the habit slowly. It's not something that a person can easily quit cold turkey. Good games absorb your mind more than anything else I know. Part of the fun of them however is sharing the experience with others and nobody else I'm talking with now is gaming so it's naturally falling away.
For the next couple or so I'll be building a model airplane as I feel like I should be making something but as an art student school takes up most of my creative ideas. Refilling the mind juices on doing something someone else has designed ought to improve my artistic skills and detail orientation.
Part of this the feeling that I seem to always have that a person needs to strive to be improving at all times. I think that our global culture promotes this idea. At least until a person has been recognized as one of the best. Then everything is in it's maintenance.
And now that graduation is near and I'm looking to start off working wherever I can I feel like I need to up my art skills so that I'm more marketable. Having something to work on helps.
I'll sign off asking what it is that you like to do with your free time. Is there something that helps you unwind?
It's really just because I want to do things that other people can appreciate. I've found that the best feeling that a I can get is positive feedback from other people.
Next to that is the feeling of creating something. It's gratifying to have an object that you have made, or participated the creation of. I've appreciated the work of many people when I've played video games but I'm finding that I just end up spending more time than I originally intended when I pick up the latest title.
So I'm trying to wean myself of the habit slowly. It's not something that a person can easily quit cold turkey. Good games absorb your mind more than anything else I know. Part of the fun of them however is sharing the experience with others and nobody else I'm talking with now is gaming so it's naturally falling away.
For the next couple or so I'll be building a model airplane as I feel like I should be making something but as an art student school takes up most of my creative ideas. Refilling the mind juices on doing something someone else has designed ought to improve my artistic skills and detail orientation.
Part of this the feeling that I seem to always have that a person needs to strive to be improving at all times. I think that our global culture promotes this idea. At least until a person has been recognized as one of the best. Then everything is in it's maintenance.
And now that graduation is near and I'm looking to start off working wherever I can I feel like I need to up my art skills so that I'm more marketable. Having something to work on helps.
I'll sign off asking what it is that you like to do with your free time. Is there something that helps you unwind?
Saturday, September 25, 2010
To defend the Constitution
I just listened to the a debate on how to treat terrorists either as enemy combatants or as criminals and one point came up that I thought was excellent. Millitary members vow to support and defend the constitution of the United States. Not to defend the people.
This demonstrates the power and importance of ideas. The point was that we as a people need to hold to our highest ideals because they are what make us great.
On the other hand without the people there are no ideals to hold up. It is important then to realize what our military is meant to defend, the ideas and ideals of a nation. And the role that you need to take in the forming of those ideals. The fact that it takes so long for something to become constitutional is a testament to how important a government and its workings are to us.
I think what I thought was most right is that people are not as important as the institutions they serve and the ideas they carry. It seems to me that the two are inseparable.
This demonstrates the power and importance of ideas. The point was that we as a people need to hold to our highest ideals because they are what make us great.
On the other hand without the people there are no ideals to hold up. It is important then to realize what our military is meant to defend, the ideas and ideals of a nation. And the role that you need to take in the forming of those ideals. The fact that it takes so long for something to become constitutional is a testament to how important a government and its workings are to us.
I think what I thought was most right is that people are not as important as the institutions they serve and the ideas they carry. It seems to me that the two are inseparable.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I should just quit information it's a bad drug.
I listened to a this American Life Podcast today about living after one's actions may have caused people's deaths and how people cope. It's good story-telling and within the show talked about how people who suffer from post-traumatic stress isolate themselves and become fearful because they feel that they are at the whim of the universe.
At the same time I think that their are people, even highly capable people who suffer under this notion and haven't experienced any traumatic event except perhaps being isolated. My brain made this connection between death and isolation perhaps because I listened to the audio of the Jonestown suicides and thought of the isolation necessary for people needing to gather like this in the first place and the isolation necessary for this to occur.
I shouldn't have listened to the audio, just as I shouldn't have listened to the audio of the 9/11 emergency phone call but I did. It's been awhile since I heard the former but the latter was the day before my previous post. I did these for a sense of understanding, and perhaps because the internet allowed me to be a rubbernecker without slowing down traffic.
I wouldn't forget these recordings easily, not for their content, but for the sinking feeling that I got when I heard them. Part of human nature wants to analyze bad happenings so that they can be prevented in the future. It seems that part of the nature of the web that we can now be not only passive reviewers such as books and video were before but active reviewers of information and events. This allows for incredible advances in hobbies (just look at some evolution of dance videos) but also creates the ability for a person find content that leaves them incredibly cynical.
In any event I think parts of our national conscience are shaped by the time of year, and by our need to remember things so that we can improve or at least attempt to. But there is a need to move on I think and coming back to the ptsd cases shows this.
Sigh
If only life were simple.
At the same time I think that their are people, even highly capable people who suffer under this notion and haven't experienced any traumatic event except perhaps being isolated. My brain made this connection between death and isolation perhaps because I listened to the audio of the Jonestown suicides and thought of the isolation necessary for people needing to gather like this in the first place and the isolation necessary for this to occur.
I shouldn't have listened to the audio, just as I shouldn't have listened to the audio of the 9/11 emergency phone call but I did. It's been awhile since I heard the former but the latter was the day before my previous post. I did these for a sense of understanding, and perhaps because the internet allowed me to be a rubbernecker without slowing down traffic.
I wouldn't forget these recordings easily, not for their content, but for the sinking feeling that I got when I heard them. Part of human nature wants to analyze bad happenings so that they can be prevented in the future. It seems that part of the nature of the web that we can now be not only passive reviewers such as books and video were before but active reviewers of information and events. This allows for incredible advances in hobbies (just look at some evolution of dance videos) but also creates the ability for a person find content that leaves them incredibly cynical.
In any event I think parts of our national conscience are shaped by the time of year, and by our need to remember things so that we can improve or at least attempt to. But there is a need to move on I think and coming back to the ptsd cases shows this.
Sigh
If only life were simple.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Morals...
Our world is becoming more secular. There are still mega-churches and cathedrals and people proselytizing one religion or another but I tend to think that church is a hard sell in a modern world. Maybe it's always been this way but I wonder how one sells God to someone who sees no reason to believe.
At one point churches sold by threatening those that didn't belong and to a certain extent some still do. But I think that government has put a check on that activity around the world. Once politics became distinct from religion government became the one with the most bite.
Churches exist to fill some need for people, a sense of community, or reassurance that good will happen in the world, etc.
However I don't see that in the future that churches will be a place that people turn to for moral authority. With people in my age group, and at my school I don't know many that attend a service and if they do they are generally Mormon and female. Church doesn't seem to be a guy thing.
So I think that people are turning to government for the function of what is good or bad right or wrong. There seems to me to be two competing moral codes when government is the decider of what is right.
The first is a moral code for optimizing individual powers. Basically whatever an individual does as long as it hurts no one else thus compromising individual rights should be the way to go
The second is a moral code where whatever is best for the group is the way that things should go. Individuals don't matter as much as the collective and we need to optimize for our group.
Nobody holds one or the other exclusively but that seems to me to be the fight in modern society over how we conduct our lives.
At one point churches sold by threatening those that didn't belong and to a certain extent some still do. But I think that government has put a check on that activity around the world. Once politics became distinct from religion government became the one with the most bite.
Churches exist to fill some need for people, a sense of community, or reassurance that good will happen in the world, etc.
However I don't see that in the future that churches will be a place that people turn to for moral authority. With people in my age group, and at my school I don't know many that attend a service and if they do they are generally Mormon and female. Church doesn't seem to be a guy thing.
So I think that people are turning to government for the function of what is good or bad right or wrong. There seems to me to be two competing moral codes when government is the decider of what is right.
The first is a moral code for optimizing individual powers. Basically whatever an individual does as long as it hurts no one else thus compromising individual rights should be the way to go
The second is a moral code where whatever is best for the group is the way that things should go. Individuals don't matter as much as the collective and we need to optimize for our group.
Nobody holds one or the other exclusively but that seems to me to be the fight in modern society over how we conduct our lives.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Tactless
I just listened to something about the tragedy that happened 9 years ago about this time and I thought I'd be tactless.
We need to forget this.
I thought so at the time 9 years ago and apparently I haven't matured but I think that remembering dark events so that we can hunt down people and hate them and worry about our safety for the rest of our lives is insane.
Remembering people for horrible events and refusing or being unable to move past an event in an individual is a sign of mental illness. Sometimes granted we understand why an event lingers in memory such as murder rape or other traumatic events but the solution to the problems is to get people to move past and not linger on their hurt.
To remember tragedy as a nation seems to me and I will be blunt Fucking Retarded. It solves no problems and causes more issues when we try to avenge or redress the hurt as if there can be a fix to it. I believe that except in one case we've gotten the people responsible and If we focused on that then I might be fine. Instead however we continue practices that treat our own people as not trustworthy and cause issues internationally.
I recognize the need for outlet of emotion. But phrases like never forget piss me off. The type of thinking that has to remember all the old wounds and everything that has ever happened is the reason we can't have peace in the middle east. Nobody can be the bigger nation and forgive.
Constructive thought don't start searching for a people to blame and hallowed ground to bar others off of . Heroism remembered is one thing but we don't remember heroism we remember the pain. Forget it.
We need to forget this.
I thought so at the time 9 years ago and apparently I haven't matured but I think that remembering dark events so that we can hunt down people and hate them and worry about our safety for the rest of our lives is insane.
Remembering people for horrible events and refusing or being unable to move past an event in an individual is a sign of mental illness. Sometimes granted we understand why an event lingers in memory such as murder rape or other traumatic events but the solution to the problems is to get people to move past and not linger on their hurt.
To remember tragedy as a nation seems to me and I will be blunt Fucking Retarded. It solves no problems and causes more issues when we try to avenge or redress the hurt as if there can be a fix to it. I believe that except in one case we've gotten the people responsible and If we focused on that then I might be fine. Instead however we continue practices that treat our own people as not trustworthy and cause issues internationally.
I recognize the need for outlet of emotion. But phrases like never forget piss me off. The type of thinking that has to remember all the old wounds and everything that has ever happened is the reason we can't have peace in the middle east. Nobody can be the bigger nation and forgive.
Constructive thought don't start searching for a people to blame and hallowed ground to bar others off of . Heroism remembered is one thing but we don't remember heroism we remember the pain. Forget it.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thinking about Respect.
For some reason respect has been on my mind lately. It seems that respect isn't something that comes into play very often as a straight forward card to be played. It's a subtle card one that makes even the bad hand a little bit better. I think it's one that we know flows two ways and I think maybe organizations and businesses have lost. It seems they wonder why nobody likes them when they don't show respect. Or at the very least want some without giving the service that gains respect.
In any case I thought I'd share a story about power and respect that I thought might resonate. It begins on the U.S.S Shreveport when I first checked on with Boatswain Brennen. Boatswain is pronounced as Boson is a title that means man who knows how to run a ship. Similarly the Forecastle of a ship is said as Foc'sle Maintenance, repair, rigging and steering admin and other miscellaneous things a Boatswain knows them all. It's not a title you hear often even though every ship has plenty of Boatswain's mates. I'll use B. to refer to the title from now on
B. Brennan had the foulest mouth I've ever heard. The closest you'll get to him was the Drill Sergent from Full metal Jacket. Creative and liberally spraying out Fuck, Cunt, Cock, Shit and every variant on them and combining them in novel way I admired his way with words. Wordsmiths the world over aren't half as entertaining as he was. I think I'll always feel like I do the words a disservice if I don't use them as well as he does.
B. Brennan was a long time member of the navy. He was going on 33 years when I met him and there was no way that anybody was going to gather as much clout as he had without seriously endangering themselves. He knew his job and he kept people safe. On most ships the captain has the most sway on ours B. Brennan did.
It all had to do with his being upfront with how he did business and that he was willing to do the same things that he required of his subordinates. If his crew was going to be up all night he'd be there to make sure things went well. He had enough rank and experience that if he said something couldn't be done you wouldn't doubt it. But he'd make sure that if it could be done it would damn well be done.
Opposite him on our ship was the captain. The man had a strong work ethic but had spent too much time as an officer and didn't think of the enlisted men as people deserving much attention. It wasn't that he didn't know his job or that he was incompetent. He had been a fighter pilot for much of his career and made the choice to move up in rank rather than stay in the pilot's seat which is a hard decision.
But still the captain was using this post to accomplish other things. You can always tell who's serious about what they're doing and who thinks what they are currently doing is just a placeholder for other options. This post for him was a quick step onto carriers and higher rank nothing to worry about just something to ride out.
In the navy there's a tradition of Standing whenever the captain enters a room. And above the flight deck in officer's country we (the deck dept) followed this tradition. However in B. Brennan's area, below the flight deck there was only one person to get that type of respect and that was B. Brennan.
This I don't think would fly in any other branch but sometimes a ship needs to function as a place of truces. When you're in cramped spaces dealing with the same people in and out every day, if there isn't some structure people can get unruly but if there isn't give and take people fight in a serious way. The captain knew this fortunately. By not intruding too much on the space of the ship where we were he made peace with the people who would make him look good.
So while there might have been a pissing contest or two on board between others, these two managed to maintain places of power without resorting (at least not in public) to pure power plays. Our missions were accomplished without incident and we managed to shine a little here and there.
It's important to let people have respect. They perform well when you show it to them . Without it they'll try and sabotage you. It just seems that organizations don't get this and I wonder how to teach them this.
In any case I thought I'd share a story about power and respect that I thought might resonate. It begins on the U.S.S Shreveport when I first checked on with Boatswain Brennen. Boatswain is pronounced as Boson is a title that means man who knows how to run a ship. Similarly the Forecastle of a ship is said as Foc'sle Maintenance, repair, rigging and steering admin and other miscellaneous things a Boatswain knows them all. It's not a title you hear often even though every ship has plenty of Boatswain's mates. I'll use B. to refer to the title from now on
B. Brennan had the foulest mouth I've ever heard. The closest you'll get to him was the Drill Sergent from Full metal Jacket. Creative and liberally spraying out Fuck, Cunt, Cock, Shit and every variant on them and combining them in novel way I admired his way with words. Wordsmiths the world over aren't half as entertaining as he was. I think I'll always feel like I do the words a disservice if I don't use them as well as he does.
B. Brennan was a long time member of the navy. He was going on 33 years when I met him and there was no way that anybody was going to gather as much clout as he had without seriously endangering themselves. He knew his job and he kept people safe. On most ships the captain has the most sway on ours B. Brennan did.
It all had to do with his being upfront with how he did business and that he was willing to do the same things that he required of his subordinates. If his crew was going to be up all night he'd be there to make sure things went well. He had enough rank and experience that if he said something couldn't be done you wouldn't doubt it. But he'd make sure that if it could be done it would damn well be done.
Opposite him on our ship was the captain. The man had a strong work ethic but had spent too much time as an officer and didn't think of the enlisted men as people deserving much attention. It wasn't that he didn't know his job or that he was incompetent. He had been a fighter pilot for much of his career and made the choice to move up in rank rather than stay in the pilot's seat which is a hard decision.
But still the captain was using this post to accomplish other things. You can always tell who's serious about what they're doing and who thinks what they are currently doing is just a placeholder for other options. This post for him was a quick step onto carriers and higher rank nothing to worry about just something to ride out.
In the navy there's a tradition of Standing whenever the captain enters a room. And above the flight deck in officer's country we (the deck dept) followed this tradition. However in B. Brennan's area, below the flight deck there was only one person to get that type of respect and that was B. Brennan.
This I don't think would fly in any other branch but sometimes a ship needs to function as a place of truces. When you're in cramped spaces dealing with the same people in and out every day, if there isn't some structure people can get unruly but if there isn't give and take people fight in a serious way. The captain knew this fortunately. By not intruding too much on the space of the ship where we were he made peace with the people who would make him look good.
So while there might have been a pissing contest or two on board between others, these two managed to maintain places of power without resorting (at least not in public) to pure power plays. Our missions were accomplished without incident and we managed to shine a little here and there.
It's important to let people have respect. They perform well when you show it to them . Without it they'll try and sabotage you. It just seems that organizations don't get this and I wonder how to teach them this.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Back to School
This week has started the last of the school I have to complete until I go out into the world and try and find my pot of gold. It's been a quick start here as if each class is trying to make every moment count like the famous candle in the wind. I've taken 3 "studio" classes that each last 3 hours a class twice a week plus homework so I'm sure to be busy. My other class tries to act as if it's an internship and lasts 2 hours once a week plus 4 hours of "volunteer" time and homework besides. So even with a light schedule I find that my days are quickly filled with things to do.
In the mean time I wonder about what I should do after all this work is complete. I'd like to go abroad for a year or two it seems I've not yet gotten the travel bug out of me. So the best position would be a job outside the U.S. creating some sort of art so that when I come back, as I would expect to do I could find work in a better economy having gotten to see more of the world.
Or I could go for some higher degree. I wouldn't mind trying for a masters if I could figure out how much time I have left on my GI Bill and whether or not I would be a better artist after all that time.
At the same time I took my cat's cast off this week and since the muscles have atrophied and the cast caused it to lose fur on that leg it's looking mutated right now. I took the cast off myself and it took about 1/2 an hour while I tried to convince a small furry animal that I wasn't trying to eat it while I held a knife in my hand. It's gone back to ignoring me except when it's hungry and I take that as a good sign. I would have taken it to the vet but the bill of $300 to splint the leg left me gun shy for another visit.
In the mean time I wonder about what I should do after all this work is complete. I'd like to go abroad for a year or two it seems I've not yet gotten the travel bug out of me. So the best position would be a job outside the U.S. creating some sort of art so that when I come back, as I would expect to do I could find work in a better economy having gotten to see more of the world.
Or I could go for some higher degree. I wouldn't mind trying for a masters if I could figure out how much time I have left on my GI Bill and whether or not I would be a better artist after all that time.
At the same time I took my cat's cast off this week and since the muscles have atrophied and the cast caused it to lose fur on that leg it's looking mutated right now. I took the cast off myself and it took about 1/2 an hour while I tried to convince a small furry animal that I wasn't trying to eat it while I held a knife in my hand. It's gone back to ignoring me except when it's hungry and I take that as a good sign. I would have taken it to the vet but the bill of $300 to splint the leg left me gun shy for another visit.
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