So I'm still learning, and I've got the general feeling of I don't belong here, that I hear is common among people in talented disciplines. The worst part of it is that I'm not sure one way or another if I'm just insecure, or should be doing something different.
One thing I know is that most people don't know what they want to do for the rest of their life, until it's mostly over. I also know that part of the reason to feel like this is that risk like this is hard to judge until afterward.
Unlike Robert Frost's narration I'm actually taking a road less traveled. He did take a road less traveled but the poem's personage didn't.
In other news the newspaper is dying and I'm pushing it into the coffin.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Neon Lights fade for a moment
I'm working right now on some pieces for an art show next week, and school projects besides, I don't expect much but the experience has me thinking how a person metamorphs throughout life. We go through the usual experiences of childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, adulthood, and elderly, but those are trivial to me.
The changes that interest me are the decisions that turn us down one path or another. Movies, stories and the like act as if your decisions can be subconscious, or forced by fate, but those decisions don't change who you are. It is the ones we make knowing full well that there are other lives, other people that we could be that make me think.
Prostitutes in Nevada are looking for a tax to be put on them so they can gain some form of legitimacy as an industry. This is a decision to become society instead of a fringe part of it. I wonder when though did people decide to become the edge and what makes them push to take away part of what is them to become something new.
Shows like "House" say that people don't change, I can't believe that.
The changes that interest me are the decisions that turn us down one path or another. Movies, stories and the like act as if your decisions can be subconscious, or forced by fate, but those decisions don't change who you are. It is the ones we make knowing full well that there are other lives, other people that we could be that make me think.
Prostitutes in Nevada are looking for a tax to be put on them so they can gain some form of legitimacy as an industry. This is a decision to become society instead of a fringe part of it. I wonder when though did people decide to become the edge and what makes them push to take away part of what is them to become something new.
Shows like "House" say that people don't change, I can't believe that.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Other Worlds
If there is anything that keeps me from doing work more than the Idea of other worlds, especially other worlds that I could visit and interact in I have yet to learn of it. Books, Games, Movies, practically my whole life revolves around other worlds and the rules that govern them. If I play a game or watch a movie nothing takes me out of a world more than rules of the world being broken.
This is a very hard thing for writers to accomplish and I realize this. Writers are constantly plagued by continuity errors, or even worse having their vision misunderstood, and people calling or rather writing them out, on.
However even if there are errors concepts will keep me in if the world has problems. Netflix, that wonderful service that is giving me streaming movies, has provided me with Sliders, a series that is all about visiting other earths, or rather the same earth in different dimensions. I realize that this makes me an anomaly as most men read (if they read at all) Non-fiction, whereas women read fiction. (Citatation Needed)
(Which might explain why I like to talk to women more than I like talking to men; that or boobs)
Back to sliders, I continue watching the series dispite characters being more or less stupid because world creation is important to me. By the way Y The Last Man The comic didn't really hold me as far as story went but the world created held my attention as I'd really like to see how things would change in a world where men are a commodity, of course for me I'd like to know it from the women's point of view seeing as I've pretty much got the guys side covered.
Anyway One last lit drop Slaughterhouse Five was a reread for me this week. Second time through I'll have to say was just as good as the first. Pick it up if you have the chance.
Laters,
Zex
This is a very hard thing for writers to accomplish and I realize this. Writers are constantly plagued by continuity errors, or even worse having their vision misunderstood, and people calling or rather writing them out, on.
However even if there are errors concepts will keep me in if the world has problems. Netflix, that wonderful service that is giving me streaming movies, has provided me with Sliders, a series that is all about visiting other earths, or rather the same earth in different dimensions. I realize that this makes me an anomaly as most men read (if they read at all) Non-fiction, whereas women read fiction. (Citatation Needed)
(Which might explain why I like to talk to women more than I like talking to men; that or boobs)
Back to sliders, I continue watching the series dispite characters being more or less stupid because world creation is important to me. By the way Y The Last Man The comic didn't really hold me as far as story went but the world created held my attention as I'd really like to see how things would change in a world where men are a commodity, of course for me I'd like to know it from the women's point of view seeing as I've pretty much got the guys side covered.
Anyway One last lit drop Slaughterhouse Five was a reread for me this week. Second time through I'll have to say was just as good as the first. Pick it up if you have the chance.
Laters,
Zex
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Ending Over 2 Months of not posting things
So the last couple of months have been busy for me. School has started up again on me and I'm finding that this semester is more than a little boring. I'm ending up with 2 Art History courses and a Biology Course that are lecture classes each at about an hour and a half long. I'm convinced that these courses actually bend time. For each hour that is spent in these courses I swear that 7.23 days pass by me. In order that the time spent in these things to be only the hour and some change that they swear they are space and time must be bent and squished and if we can figure out how this is accomplished we may be able to make people live for damn near ever.
New Years Eve and the following week left me broke and as such I've only had enough money for rent for the past month and the trend is continuing into this month. Well, rent and tuition. The situation is starting to clear, but until march I forsee no new and dramatic measures from this one to save the economy. I know that Matt predicts crazy new problems for the country in the form of New Deal Style legislation but currently I'm sure that we are living in a part of history that is drier than most parts I've heard about.
There is a lot of energy needed to change the world and right now everything seems to be in a compression state like a spring that is being pushed tightly together waiting for release. Or perhaps more excitingly like the energy of a woman as she is slowly excited to action by her lover, slow at first but picking up energy as things go along.
Of course all this comes from the eyes of a student wanting to get things over with this semester.
I've spent so very much of my life in institutions and schools that I'm starting to see tests in my dreams and desks in my nightmares. And then I'll go to class and see that I do, especially in art Classes is similar to others in only that we paint, draw or create, but everything I do resembles nothing of anyone else. And I wonder if my eyes are broken.
However, everyone who meets me always have let me know that I'll do just fine, in fact there's something that I don't see that everyone else sees and I wonder if I'm just too close to the trees to see the forest.
In other news go read http://www.fmylife.com/top for a good laugh.
New Years Eve and the following week left me broke and as such I've only had enough money for rent for the past month and the trend is continuing into this month. Well, rent and tuition. The situation is starting to clear, but until march I forsee no new and dramatic measures from this one to save the economy. I know that Matt predicts crazy new problems for the country in the form of New Deal Style legislation but currently I'm sure that we are living in a part of history that is drier than most parts I've heard about.
There is a lot of energy needed to change the world and right now everything seems to be in a compression state like a spring that is being pushed tightly together waiting for release. Or perhaps more excitingly like the energy of a woman as she is slowly excited to action by her lover, slow at first but picking up energy as things go along.
Of course all this comes from the eyes of a student wanting to get things over with this semester.
I've spent so very much of my life in institutions and schools that I'm starting to see tests in my dreams and desks in my nightmares. And then I'll go to class and see that I do, especially in art Classes is similar to others in only that we paint, draw or create, but everything I do resembles nothing of anyone else. And I wonder if my eyes are broken.
However, everyone who meets me always have let me know that I'll do just fine, in fact there's something that I don't see that everyone else sees and I wonder if I'm just too close to the trees to see the forest.
In other news go read http://www.fmylife.com/top for a good laugh.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Hook
As the air around me settles into the usual apartment fair. I'm thinking about the hook. It's a term in music where a slow start is suddenly ended by loud buoyant sound and continued on in. After the hook you can lead an audience where you want it to go. The hook is a popular mode of gaining listeners.
Bam!
OOOOOHHHH!
Yeeaaah!
The success of the Hook leads to many pop songs having a similar sound. It works. I can tell you from years of public speaking that I've seen the hook in great speakers. I never had the term for it lodged there in my brain though. English majors often talk about hooking the audience in the first sentance of a book, and without it you fail. This makes me think otherwise. Find a point in the line about 45 seconds of reading in and let it scream.
Make it come from nowhere and stop your reader from letting go. Lead them in control their emotions until they realize an hour later that they can't stop reading. But try out that hook. We know other devices of building to a climax then pulling completely out of it and leaving the reader hanging. Just a little more they cry and we breathe to them, follow me and I'll give you everything you're looking for.
Whispering secrets about others and giving a nod in the right direction as well. That's what we know. But lets not forget the hook.
I hate the idea that we must trick people into listening to us, The metaphores all sound like parts of a trap. A KerSNAP! HAHAHAHA I've got you dear reader and I won't let you go. It's so maniacal.
I prefer to let the strength of my ideas and words stand like a monument against the winds of critism, but I know that without knowing the tricks they might as well be an epitaph on a grave that mold has grown over
Bam!
OOOOOHHHH!
Yeeaaah!
The success of the Hook leads to many pop songs having a similar sound. It works. I can tell you from years of public speaking that I've seen the hook in great speakers. I never had the term for it lodged there in my brain though. English majors often talk about hooking the audience in the first sentance of a book, and without it you fail. This makes me think otherwise. Find a point in the line about 45 seconds of reading in and let it scream.
Make it come from nowhere and stop your reader from letting go. Lead them in control their emotions until they realize an hour later that they can't stop reading. But try out that hook. We know other devices of building to a climax then pulling completely out of it and leaving the reader hanging. Just a little more they cry and we breathe to them, follow me and I'll give you everything you're looking for.
Whispering secrets about others and giving a nod in the right direction as well. That's what we know. But lets not forget the hook.
I hate the idea that we must trick people into listening to us, The metaphores all sound like parts of a trap. A KerSNAP! HAHAHAHA I've got you dear reader and I won't let you go. It's so maniacal.
I prefer to let the strength of my ideas and words stand like a monument against the winds of critism, but I know that without knowing the tricks they might as well be an epitaph on a grave that mold has grown over
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Cooperation
I've been working with my brother on a cooperative game and we're learning yet again how to be a team. Whenever you have to work with someone even if it is your brother there are things that you have to do to make things turn out allright. I'm of the opinion that America in it's loud and proud celebration of the individual makes cooperation the hardest thing that a person will have to learn.
People complain about divorce rates, about corperations, government and other things that involve many people and therein we see the what it is that Americans need to learn more than any other thing. Trust, and cooperation. I include myself in this group as I find it hard to depend on others to keep me going be it in work or school I'm fiercely independant. However I recognize that there are many things that I not only have to rely on others to do for me but that at some point should I achieve my dream of running a business like pixar, or disney that I'll have to rely on others to the extent that my livelyhood depends on them and that I'll have little influence on whether or not they can do such a thing and I will have to trust them implicitly.
Realizing this I'm trying to learn how people work and function and how I might be able to integrate myself into society when I make few friends easily and I prefer to work alone.
If you ever were to ask yourself this question how do I choose my friends I don't know how you would. I know how I choose friends though. I look to how they treat other people. Many people act friendly but aren't nice, and others are real assholes. I take a while to choose a friend and many times others treat me as a friend far before I'll give them that label. There are qualities I look for that I am unwilling and unable to explain that I use to judge a person.
There are a few times where a person and I connect for a few seconds and I automatically know that should circumstance put us together we'll end up friends for a life time but often the rigors of life pull us apart.
Because of these attitudes I believe that my problems with the opposite sex should be apparent. Often I take longer than is neccessary to warm up to people and when relationships are involved people are more picky as well, making for some awkward moments. As much as people tell you that you should admit to someone of the opposite sex that you like them it's a hard thing to do and be taken seriously. And it's even harder if people in that position have been taken away from you in life, or you've found that the feelings aren't mutual.
I made a few friends last year but different majors forced us apart. I'm still trying to learn people this year and I have a few candidates for the label of friend. I think that that label comming from me is a big deal and I know that it's pompous. Best friends is a hurdle that a person can't even earn it comes from being friends for a while and sharing experiences, I don't bestow that it just happens.
This all came from a message I got through the internet recently from one of my Original "Best Friends." who lives in Reno. I thought I'd lost him but he's arround and still kicking. It was great to connect after more than 14 years apart. To know that he still thought of me kindly was great.
Anyway (get out your drinking glasses)
Here's to Us
There's damned few
And we're looking ahead. (Drink)
-Zex out
People complain about divorce rates, about corperations, government and other things that involve many people and therein we see the what it is that Americans need to learn more than any other thing. Trust, and cooperation. I include myself in this group as I find it hard to depend on others to keep me going be it in work or school I'm fiercely independant. However I recognize that there are many things that I not only have to rely on others to do for me but that at some point should I achieve my dream of running a business like pixar, or disney that I'll have to rely on others to the extent that my livelyhood depends on them and that I'll have little influence on whether or not they can do such a thing and I will have to trust them implicitly.
Realizing this I'm trying to learn how people work and function and how I might be able to integrate myself into society when I make few friends easily and I prefer to work alone.
If you ever were to ask yourself this question how do I choose my friends I don't know how you would. I know how I choose friends though. I look to how they treat other people. Many people act friendly but aren't nice, and others are real assholes. I take a while to choose a friend and many times others treat me as a friend far before I'll give them that label. There are qualities I look for that I am unwilling and unable to explain that I use to judge a person.
There are a few times where a person and I connect for a few seconds and I automatically know that should circumstance put us together we'll end up friends for a life time but often the rigors of life pull us apart.
Because of these attitudes I believe that my problems with the opposite sex should be apparent. Often I take longer than is neccessary to warm up to people and when relationships are involved people are more picky as well, making for some awkward moments. As much as people tell you that you should admit to someone of the opposite sex that you like them it's a hard thing to do and be taken seriously. And it's even harder if people in that position have been taken away from you in life, or you've found that the feelings aren't mutual.
I made a few friends last year but different majors forced us apart. I'm still trying to learn people this year and I have a few candidates for the label of friend. I think that that label comming from me is a big deal and I know that it's pompous. Best friends is a hurdle that a person can't even earn it comes from being friends for a while and sharing experiences, I don't bestow that it just happens.
This all came from a message I got through the internet recently from one of my Original "Best Friends." who lives in Reno. I thought I'd lost him but he's arround and still kicking. It was great to connect after more than 14 years apart. To know that he still thought of me kindly was great.
Anyway (get out your drinking glasses)
Here's to Us
There's damned few
And we're looking ahead. (Drink)
-Zex out
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Things that are hard to do.
I've been playing a game, Mass Effect where there are options that let you choose between "Paragon" and "Renegade" and when I played the game I didn't often make choices that were towards renegade, When I play games I don't play to take me away from myself, and I generally play as myself but I've played many games where the Good path is basically the only path that has rewards worth having.
Talking it over, games almost always make it that "good" guys' get more experience, get more party members, and the like and if you think about it the bad guys although tough in any game are seemingly better equipped and always better defended just worse at offense.
So I've learned that being good is the way to go. after going through Once I've decide to try the alternative route. It's very difficult because there is very little reward for being an asshole.
As in real life it's hard to do things for me that are "1 marshmallow kid" actions. I go for at least 2 if not the whole freaking bag. More payoff in the end is worth it to me.
Talking it over, games almost always make it that "good" guys' get more experience, get more party members, and the like and if you think about it the bad guys although tough in any game are seemingly better equipped and always better defended just worse at offense.
So I've learned that being good is the way to go. after going through Once I've decide to try the alternative route. It's very difficult because there is very little reward for being an asshole.
As in real life it's hard to do things for me that are "1 marshmallow kid" actions. I go for at least 2 if not the whole freaking bag. More payoff in the end is worth it to me.
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